IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Socity is based on rules and laws . It could not function of individuals were free to do whatever they wanted . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

recently,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society has followed compulsory
rules
Use synonyms
 more than before
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 are myriad fines if anyone commits
crimes
Use synonyms
. l completely agree that community
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade they are depending on decision.
This
Linking Words
 essay illustrates some simple reasons and provides some solutions. My first reason is that if someone does not follow
rules
Use synonyms
 what will the government happen to them
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are many humans who commit
crimes
Use synonyms
 that may impact
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our societies.
For instance
Linking Words
, teenagers often make some acts
mistakes
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because they do not know the laws,
whereas
Linking Words
 if a man or woman commits
crimes
Use synonyms
 they will
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in jail
to
Change preposition
so
show examples
 do not
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 these
mistakes
Use synonyms
 again,
hence
Linking Words
 they will be victims in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
son’s
Change the noun form
sons
son
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the boys will know that are
mistakes
Use synonyms
 acts and do not commit. My second reason is that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 freedom to people there will be more
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, freedom kills the person because they will commit more
crimes
Use synonyms
, more acting and common
mistakes
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if the students have freedom they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not achieve success and acquire benefits.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, a
manger
Correct your spelling
manager
show examples
 should be pressured
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 students to
do
Verb problem
follow
show examples
 the
rules
Use synonyms
. So, they
shuld
Correct your spelling
should
 ponder
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem and make alternative things to avoid violating the laws. In conclusion, l strongly believe that
rules
Use synonyms
 have a significant impact on our lives, and the community should follow laws and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be careful with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to avoid
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 some act
mistakes
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make clear main points. Each paragraph should discuss one idea, and it should be clear what your idea is.
task achievement
Use clear examples. Instead of saying 'many humans,' you can say 'some people' or 'many teenagers.' This makes your point easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence structure. Some sentences are hard to follow; try to keep them shorter and simpler.
task achievement
You have a strong opinion and you explain it well in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gets the reader's attention and gives a good start for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rule of law
  • Social contract
  • Anarchy
  • Civic duty
  • Legislation
  • Regulation
  • Compliance
  • Judiciary
  • Public order
  • Governance
  • Infringement of rights
  • Social harmony
  • Law enforcement
  • Legal framework
  • Civil liberties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: