IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctors. Do you think is a positive or negative development¿

In recent times , it has been more common
that
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with health issues are
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 alternative medicine
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
treatments and therapies rather than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to the doctor. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development because they are risking their
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will look at
this
Linking Words
 topic in detail and support my point of view.
Firstly
Linking Words
,when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are relying
Wrong verb form
rely
show examples
 on natural sources and remedies
that
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 any scientific
proven
Replace the word
proof
show examples
, so that means patients may end up wasting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable time that should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on addressing the root cause of their illness. As a repercussion , the
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer from cancer will
risked
Change the verb form
risk
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 because the tumour will just get bigger and
worser
Correct your spelling
worse
 which would be too late to heal.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the enhancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology plays a big role that
increases
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the number of patients using alternative medicine and treatments on social media platforms.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 means
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that you will be more likely
getting
Change the verb form
to get
show examples
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a wrong pieces
Correct the article-noun agreement
a wrong piece
wrong pieces
show examples
 of information or
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong cure .
For example
Linking Words
, there was a woman who suffered from a fever
instead
Linking Words
 of going to the doctor she decided to search online to heal her condition but it just
gets
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 worse which cost her
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, having looked at the topic in detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the increased use of alternative medicine and treatments should be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a negative development
due to
Linking Words
 the risk
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure your points are clear and fully explained. Try to give more information on why alternative medicine can be dangerous.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay. Use more linking words to connect your ideas better. For example, use 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with phrasing. For example, change 'which would be too late to heal' to 'which might be too late to treat'.
task achievement
Your position is clear: you believe using alternative medicine is negative.
task achievement
You provided an example that supports your point about the risks of alternative medicine.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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