IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

66.The charts below show how water was used in Australia in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

66.The charts below show how water was used in Australia in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The pie chart provides information about the percentage of total
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in the year between 1997 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, as we can see all the industries had faced fluctuations.
However
Linking Words
, the service
industry
Use synonyms
 has increased its
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 over the past years and the building
industry
Use synonyms
 has decreased its
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
. All the companies
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 experienced fluctuations over the years. In the year 1997, the highest percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 was used by the food
industry
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 48%.
While
Linking Words
, the second largest was household
use
Use synonyms
19
Change preposition
at 19
show examples
%, followed by manufacturing at 15% and service
industry
Use synonyms
 at 13%. In all factories, the lowest was the building
industry
Use synonyms
 only 5%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 in 2007 the food
industry
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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reduced its waste
use
Use synonyms
 by 7% followed by the manufacturing
industry
Use synonyms
3
Change preposition
by 3
show examples
%.
However
Linking Words
, the service
industry
Use synonyms
 had significant growth in their
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 and reached 25%.
The household
Correct article usage
Household
show examples
use
Use synonyms
roseby
Correct your spelling
rose by
 2% and only the building
industry
Use synonyms
 reduced their
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 by 2%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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