In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is irrefutable that the advancement in technology has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improved our lives in a great way. In numerous nations, it is very normal
to see
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to buy things by using mobile
apps
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
trend
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
increased rapidly. I believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of using cellphone
apps
Use synonyms
for paying surpass its negative side. To commence with, there are numerous advantages of purchasing goods using mobile
apps
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is no risk of stolen money by thieves for users
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in public places which are often crowded with human beings.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is more convenient
due to
Linking Words
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
while
Linking Words
counting currency notes, and
also
Linking Words
not
need
Wrong verb form
needing
show examples
to carry
physically
Change the word
physical
show examples
amount
Correct subject-verb agreement
amounts
show examples
with them.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, it is the safest way to exchange money because it is
risk free
Add a hyphen
risk-free
show examples
of communicable diseases,
For instance
Linking Words
, during
COVIID- 19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
, everyone started using paying
apps
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as Phone pe and Google pe in India, for making transactions to avoid physical contact.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
development has always
danger
Add an article
the danger
a danger
show examples
of hacking accounts or bank cards by hackers as they can easily get information and all details of
card
Add an article
the card
show examples
holder
Fix the agreement mistake
holders
show examples
by using some systems. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
year , my aunt was
victim
Add an article
the victim
a victim
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
mishappening
while
Linking Words
doing
transaction
Correct article usage
a transaction
show examples
in
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
grocery store,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
her card was blocked and all money was withdrawn by hackers within
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours. In conclusion, like every garden has some weeds,
similarly
Linking Words
paying by cellphone has one drawback too. Despite the risks associated with mobile payments, I believe their practical benefits make them an indispensable tool for efficient and secure financial management. Their ability to simplify monetary exchanges enhances their value in today’s digital landscape

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to improve the introduction by clearly stating your opinion on advantages versus disadvantages. Use a clear thesis statement.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words to guide your reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples of both advantages and disadvantages. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
content
You provided relevant examples to support your points, especially regarding the impact of COVID-19 on payment methods.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: