IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types pf progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

governments around the world tend to
Use synonyms
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on economic
progress
Use synonyms
 more than any
goals
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. The question is, governments believe
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the most essential goal is economic
progress
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,
However
Linking Words
, There are people who believe the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
goals
Use synonyms
 are necessary as well. In my opinion, I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is the most essential goal. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss both views and give my opinion. First of all. the governments believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
progress
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 is the most important
due to
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 it can help to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
goals
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. there are many advantages
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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conomic
Correct your spelling
economic
progress
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
removal
Correct article usage
the removal
show examples
Change preposition
of unployments
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unployments
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
for instance
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, In India, There was a doemonstration
due to
Linking Words
 the community
there do
Wrong verb form
did
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 not want the government
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Fix the infinitive
to focuse
show examples
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 a lot on economic
progress
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,
However
Linking Words
, The government did not give them attention and now they have
advanced
Correct article usage
an advanced
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and it helps them to remove the other issues.
However
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. there are many people
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
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 the government
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
to focuse
show examples
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on the other
goals
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 as much as they
Use synonyms
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 on economic
progress
Use synonyms
. the people who believe
this
Linking Words
 theory want to
removal
Replace the word
remove
show examples
 the
unployments
Correct your spelling
unemployment
.
However
Linking Words
, They do not know
is
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 the advanced
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 is related to
removal
Correct article usage
the removal
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
Change preposition
of unployments
show examples
unployments
Correct your spelling
unemployment
. In conclusion, I would argue that the advanced economy is the most essential goal in the country.
moreover
Linking Words
, It is related to most of the issues in a country.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear paragraphs for each main idea. Start with a clear introduction, then explain each point in its own paragraph, and finish with a strong conclusion.
task achievement
Add more reasons and explanations to support your views. Try to provide clear examples and connect them to your points to show how they relate.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling. Words like 'focus' and 'unemployment' should be spelled correctly for clearer understanding.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion stated in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
There is an attempt to discuss both views, which is a good structure for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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