IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast food has become more common in recent years. Some people think that it has a negative effect on lifestyles and diets. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays fast
food
Use synonyms
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
 of the most popular
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 that half of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 consuming
on
Change preposition
in
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every day
Replace the word
everyday
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 routine. any
people
Use synonyms
 agree that eating fast
food
Use synonyms
 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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. I would agree point that it's unhealthy
eating
Wrong verb form
to eat
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 everyday life, but I accept
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 points. On the one hand, I would say that it's very convenient for
people
Use synonyms
 on
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 routine eating fast
food
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. The reason is that you
coud
Correct your spelling
could
 save
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time on
food
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, another point is very cheap to
consumming
Correct your spelling
consume
 fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 for many
people
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
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delicious
Add a missing verb
is delicious
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.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 for
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have time to buy or prepare fresh and healthy
food
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 at
home
Add a comma
home,
show examples
 they can easily buy in some fast
food
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 chain. I,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, for sure I agree as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 health you could easily get some
disies
Correct your spelling
diseases
 when you
eating like
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
. The main point that
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
such
Linking Words
 disagreement in public
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 nowadays popular fast
food
Use synonyms
reustaraunt
Correct your spelling
restaurants
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 artificial flavours,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can
cause
Use synonyms
 problems
such
Linking Words
diabetes
Change preposition
as diabetes
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,
obesity
Correct word choice
and obesity
show examples
.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 not only artificial flavours or toping can
cause
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 problems
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 not balanced diet you need to consume all vitamins,
protein
Correct word choice
and protein
show examples
 for
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 muscles. Fast
food
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 diet recent years it's not balanced in
this
Linking Words
 diet a lot of saturated fat and sugar that can
cause
Use synonyms
 obesity
ans
Correct your spelling
and
 problems with
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 stomach. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
have
Verb problem
is
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fatness
Replace the word
fat
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as well as
Linking Words
 issues with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 organs, it will be a big problem in the future and can
cause
Use synonyms
 fast pass away. I think that we need to be more
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
 what we eat
Use synonyms
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it can have some effects not only on our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 but
lifestyle
Add an article
a lifestyle
show examples
 of our
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. I agree that we need to less consume
this
Linking Words
type
Use synonyms
 of
not balanced
Correct word choice
unhealthy
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing.
language
Be careful with spelling and grammar. Words like 'coud', 'disies', and 'fatness' should be checked.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your transition words to help your ideas flow better from one point to another.
task achievement
You have included both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas about the convenience of fast food are clear and easy to understand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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