IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

According to
Linking Words
 some individuals success in
sports
Use synonyms
 depends on
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 physical capabilities
while
Linking Words
 other thinks mental strength will help more
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to
suceed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in
sports
Use synonyms
 . In my view physical skills which are obtained by
Correct your spelling
hard work
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
, discipline and
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 are more essential
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to
Correct your spelling
succeed
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
 in
Use synonyms
sports
Add an article
the sports
show examples
 world
Athelets
Correct your spelling
Athletes
 get trained since young ages and spend most of their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 preparing and practising their skills to be known in
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 . It takes
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of hard work and dedication to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 that merit .
Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 their morning starts with heavy exercise and running , apart from that their
dietery
Correct your spelling
dietary
 needs are to be met and maintained . Complete avoidance of processed foods , sugary drinks ,
Use synonyms
diet
Add an article
a diet
show examples
 with carbs and inclusion of
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
diet
Use synonyms
 are needed
along with
Linking Words
 proper weight management
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 for them to participate in numerous events .
Hence
Linking Words
 the physical capabilities which are achieved by
sportsperson
Add an article
the sportsperson
show examples
 from long years of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and
nutional
Correct your spelling
national
nutritional
diet
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more important for their notable
acheivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
.
However
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of mental skills can help ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 some tricks or suggestions from mentors might help . To some
Correct your spelling
extent
exent
Add a comma
exent,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 equally beneficial to be mentally healthy for our health and daily activities . Yes,
intellegence
Correct your spelling
intelligence
 and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of proper knowledge can enhance their ability but still
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not enough .
Hardwork
Correct your spelling
Hard work
 and discipline
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the
key
Fix the agreement mistake
keys
show examples
 to success .
Therefore
Linking Words
 in my opinion mental strength can help or enhance performance in
sports
Use synonyms
 but

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to clearly explain both views in separate paragraphs and make sure your opinion is clear and well-supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'in conclusion' to help connect your ideas and make the text flow better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar, and make sure your sentences are clear and complete.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion, stating that physical skills are more essential for success in sports.
Task Achievement
You have made some relevant points about the dedication and training of athletes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
What to do next:
Look at other essays: