IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say it is manufactures' and supermarkets’ responsibility to reduce the amount of packing of products they sell and others say it is the consumers’ responsibility to avoid buying products with too much packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Few individuals think it is
manufactures
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
' and supermarkets'
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to decrease the
amount
Use synonyms
 of packing of products they sell
however
Linking Words
 others
told
Verb problem
think
show examples
 it is the consumers’ responsibility to neglect buying products with
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of packaging. I agree with the first point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and my opinion will be discussed in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand,manufacturing people and big malls should take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of packaging products as it affects the
price
Use synonyms
 and
sell
Replace the word
sales
show examples
 of the
product
Use synonyms
.If the
price
Use synonyms
 of packing is high
then
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals from middle-class
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 cannot buy it
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 may cause
decreament
Correct your spelling
decrement
 in the
selling
Replace the word
sales
show examples
 of the
product
Use synonyms
 which causes loss for the company.
For instance
Linking Words
,If
company
Add an article
a company
the company
show examples
 makes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutrition
product
Use synonyms
 and the packaging cost is too high
then
Linking Words
 people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to buy it.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, the higher
amount
Use synonyms
 of packaging
also
Linking Words
 decreases the quality of the
product
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
,it affects the health of people who are buying it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,customers
also
Linking Words
 should take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
product
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they are buying
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it has various reasons.First and foremost, packaging plays the most important role in the
price
Use synonyms
.If the
product
Use synonyms
 has too much packaging
then
Linking Words
 it may affect the
price
Use synonyms
 which can create
financial
Add an article
a financial
show examples
 strain on
Add an article
the consumer
show examples
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
 so they should think twice
while
Linking Words
 purchasing it.
Moreover
Linking Words
,more packing can
also
Linking Words
 create
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 if it is not garbage correctly which can cause detrimental causes on the earth.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe manufacturing units and malls should take care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
amount
Use synonyms
 of packing as it has the major role in selling and the quality
whereas
Linking Words
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 avoid it
while
Linking Words
 not buying it.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. Use simpler sentences to express your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words for better flow, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition', and 'finally'.
task achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints clearly and attempts to discuss them.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your points, which is good for clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • reduce
  • packaging
  • products
  • manufacturers
  • supermarkets
  • consumers
  • waste
  • buying
  • materials
  • recyclable
  • promote
  • environmental
  • impact
  • choices
  • government
  • regulations
  • eco-friendly
  • practices
  • difference
  • education
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