IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You have recently returned from an afternoon at your public library, and noticed various negative aspects that could be improved upon. Write a letter to the manager of the public library. In your letter: Describe the poor experience you had Include ideas for what the library should change Explain why you feel the library needs alteration You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Dear Manager,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 wish like to inform you that today morning
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 visited
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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your library and returned
in
Change preposition
at
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noon
Add an article
the noon
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 and
in
Change preposition
during
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this
Linking Words
 whole time
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 noticed
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 things that can harm the image of
this
Linking Words
 library.
Initially
Linking Words
,
placements
Correct article usage
the placements
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 of the
books
Use synonyms
 are not
according to
Linking Words
 the zones.
For instance
Linking Words
,
i
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I
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 was looking for a history book that
i
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I
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 found in the section of science,
that
Correct word choice
and that
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 was the not only book
i
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I
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also
Linking Words
 saw many
journels
Correct your spelling
journals
journeys
 that should be in any other zone. Moving
further
Linking Words
, some of the old
books
Use synonyms
 need
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
, because old
books
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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always
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
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 great knowledge and some of the
books
Use synonyms
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 in really bad shape. To add more on
this
Linking Words
, some of your members do not follow the rules and regulations
such
Linking Words
 as they were using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
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 phone and were attending the calls in library. you should take some serious actions to improve the quality of the service. Thank you warm regards

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task response
Make sure to check your sentence structure and grammar for errors. For example, 'i wish like to inform you' could be 'I would like to inform you.'
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each idea. This helps the reader to follow your points easily. Try to have one main idea per paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to close your letter nicely. You could add 'Sincerely' before 'warm regards' as a more formal closing.
task response
You have included important points about the library's issues, which shows that you are observant.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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