IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable, and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

While
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 some think that
tourism
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 should be banned to protect local
culture
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, others believe that it is a measure that will not change anything or bring any benefit. Those who aim to restrict
tourism
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 are likely local people who don't want their
culture
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 violated
,
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 and see
tourists
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 as a threat to their
culture
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 and traditions. It often happens that
tourists
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 with little empathy and concern for the environment, end up creating a bad reputation among
tourists
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 in general,
such
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 as Israelis, who always cause conflict wherever they go. Some
also
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 point out that
tourism
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 can significantly influence the loss of a locality's identity,
due to
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 pregnancies and marriages between
tourists
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 and locals. Personally, I value the idea of ​​preserving local
culture
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, but today it is impossible to try to completely close it off to other people
,
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 since what motivates
tourists
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 to travel, is precisely the desire to discover other ways of life and
culture
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.
On the other hand
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, those who believe that change is inevitable and that
this
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 measure would not bring any benefit, have a more pragmatic view of
this
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 problem, because
tourism
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 often provides resources for the very subsistence of local communities.
According to
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 a study by the University of California,
tourism
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 has a positive impact on most localities, since there is a monetary and cultural exchange between locals and
tourists
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. I share
this
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 view
,
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 because it is based more realistically on
this
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 problem.
Tourism
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 should only be banned in very extreme and specific cases, but in most
cases
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cases,
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 the benefits will always outweigh the harm. In conclusion,
tourism
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 always affects a locality in some way, but in terms of strategy and growth, it will always be a significant contribution, so prohibiting it is not an assertive measure, unless there are specific cases where
tourism
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 puts the ecosystem or the residents at risk.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and develop it fully.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and present both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely sums up your stance on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influx of tourists
  • dilute local customs
  • commercialization
  • loss of native languages
  • economic benefits
  • revenue source
  • responsible tourism
  • cultural sensitivity
  • regulated tourist limits
  • cultural heritage
  • globalization
  • case study
  • ‘High Value, Low Impact’ tourism
  • controlled tourism
  • middle-ground solution
  • infrastructure development
  • significant revenue source
  • employment generation
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