Being celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problem as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Being popular ,

such

Linking Words

as a famous actor or sports star, brings

problems

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

benefits. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will discuss both

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages of being a celebrity ,and determine whether it is more beneficial or not. Being a famous person means you have to sacrifice a huge part of your privacy . Stars are always

Change preposition

show examples

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

eye ,

each

Correct word choice

and each

show examples

of their action is followed by journalists and

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

Consequently,

show examples

they can not freely hang out in public spaces , because they will be immediately

surroundered

Correct your spelling

surrounded

by people.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, a lot of pressure is exerted on

celebrities

Use synonyms

as they have to be role model for their audience.

Therefore

Linking Words

sometimes they have to pretend or even conform to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

expectations . It means they have to always play a role please their followers .If they do not, A lot of hate and

complains

Replace the word

complaints

show examples

will be directed to them .

Thus

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

little amount of time to be themselves.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

stars have a lot of

priveleges

Correct your spelling

privileges

and might avoid some

problems

Use synonyms

their popularity brought to them.

Firstly

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

always

Add a missing verb

are always

show examples

treated differently .Commercial or non-commercial companies can provide them a customized products or services ,because if

Linking Words

this companies

Change the determiner

this company

these companies

show examples

can attract

attention

Add an article

the attention

show examples

this

Linking Words

celebrity they potentially

attracting

Wrong verb form

attract

show examples

a whole audience who follows them.

For example

Linking Words

, Restaurants can offer

Change preposition

apply

show examples

celebrities

Use synonyms

a free dinner and special services .if they share

this

Linking Words

experience with their followers , it can bring more clients to their restaurant.

Secondly

Linking Words

, in order to escape the constant pressure from

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

famous individuals can show their negative traits to their fans,

this

Linking Words

self-deprecating

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

can simultaneously make them even more relatable and escape the pressure of being

perfect

Correct article usage

the perfect

show examples

person.

Thus

Linking Words

, popularity brings you

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lit

Correct your spelling

lot

show examples

of opportunities .

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

it is undeniable that being popular brings

problems

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

benefita

Correct your spelling

benefits

, the

problems

Use synonyms

can be avoided and

Correct article usage

the priveleges

show examples

priveleges

Correct your spelling

privileges

are huge.

nukurdinovdoniThu Jun 26 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide a clearer position in your introduction. Make it clear whether you think benefits or problems are more important.

coherence cohesion

Make sure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences and that each paragraph focuses on one main idea.

coherence cohesion

Use simpler and more accurate vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly.

task achievement

You have identified both the benefits and problems of being a celebrity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Being celebrity-such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problem as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Mobile phones and the Internet play an important role in the way people relate to one another socially. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age. Others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both viewers and give your opinion.