IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In
this
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fast paced
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fast-paced
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 world where inflation in rent can happen anytime.Which many might struggle with, can lead to causing financial instability
thus
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 I firmly believe owning a home is undoubtedly a better decision than renting. Prices from renting homes can increase
overtime
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over time
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 and we are not able to predict when and what will happen. When one purchases a home, it provides financial stability as they only need to give a fixed mortgage and it allows you to build equity
overtime
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over time
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 with each payment.
This
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 equity is a valuable asset which increases
overtime
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over time
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 as property values rise
that
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and
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 can be used as a retirement income or passed down generations. Not only that, it is less
hassle free
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hassle-free
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 since renting can make you struggle with lease renewal. Making it difficult to establish a sense of permanence or stability as you would have to move around places.
Therefore
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 a majority purchase a house, making it a commitment they have to achieve for them to set down their roots and plan for their future without any worries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, renting offers you with lower upfront financial commitment often including a security deposit and one
month
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month's
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 rent.
This
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 makes it more accessible for those with limited funds or savings. Especially for those starting their career or students as it allows them to balance out their funds and spend it on other essentials or resources they need.
Alternatively
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Alternatively,
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 rented places have lower maintenance since they provide basic furnishing and most landlords commit their own funds when renovating. Which let us save unexpected bills and
inconvenience
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inconveniences
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 in maintaining the building. In conclusion, the
positive
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positives
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 of purchasing a home definitely
weighs down
Verb problem
outweigh
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 the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
As a result
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, there is no doubt that investing in a house can bring us much more advantages and security. Since we might never know what the future holds
and
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apply
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it is best to be prepared to avoid financial hardship.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to link your ideas more clearly within paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your points more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Vary sentence structure a bit more to make your writing more interesting.
task achievement
You present clear arguments for both owning and renting homes, which is a good balance.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint, which is effective and clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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