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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the number of international students who enrolled in universities in three different countries (Australia, Canada, and the UK) between 2000 and 2020. 2000 20,000 25,000 30,000 2005 35,000 30,000 40,000 2010 50,000 42,000 45,000 2015 70,000 50,000 48,000 2020 90,000 55,000 50,000

The line graph below shows the number of international students who enrolled in universities in three different countries (Australia, Canada, and the UK) between 2000 and 2020. 2000 20,000 25,000 30,000 2005 35,000 30,000 40,000 2010 50,000 42,000 45,000 2015 70,000 50,000 48,000 2020 90,000 55,000 50,000
This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates the number of international students in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the United Kingdom through the first two decades of the Millennium. Back in the year 2000, the number of students in these three countries ranged from 20000 to 30000, with
Australia
Use synonyms
 having 20000 which is the least amount of alumni
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the 3,
while
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom had 30000 which is the most. Ever since
then
Linking Words
, the numbers started to rise steadily with
Australia
Use synonyms
 taking a huge leap and reaching more than double what it started with, unlike
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the UK
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 stayed at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by the time we reached the year 2020, even though
Australia
Use synonyms
 had 20000 students, they gained 70000 more which is more than what
Canada
Use synonyms
 and the UK had throughout the
20 years
Correct your spelling
20-year
 span.
Although
Linking Words
 The UK started with the most pupils, they ended up with the least,
while
Linking Words
Canada
Use synonyms
 remained the second least country trailing
Australia
Use synonyms
 by almost double.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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