Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongest all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. DO YOU THINK THAT THE ADVANTAGES OF SOCIAL MEDIA OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

There is no denying the fact that social
media
Use synonyms
has become a
nessessity
Correct your spelling
necessity
for a large number of people.
While
Linking Words
it is a commonly held belief that social
media
Use synonyms
plattforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
can have major drawbacks, there is
also
Linking Words
an argument that opposes it.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyse both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, some
argu
Correct your spelling
argue
that sharing personal information on
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
can be beneficial for
sevral
Correct your spelling
several
reasons.
This
Linking Words
is because people nowadays interact actively through
sevral
Correct your spelling
several
plattforms in terms of, making
mony
Correct your spelling
money
, coaching people or
widen
Wrong verb form
widening
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
social community.
For example
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
has
opend
Correct your spelling
opened
a wide range of opportunities
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
forpeople
Correct your spelling
for people
who suffer from social anxiety or
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who are in need in terms of making money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, social
media
Use synonyms
can have detrimental risks if utilized wrongly
that is
Linking Words
to say, if any person's life
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
shared on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
-
bases
Fix the agreement mistake
basis
show examples
with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sensitive personal information
such
Linking Words
as the address of where you live, or your mobile number can make you
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
easy
Add an article
an easy
show examples
target for mafias or
theafs
Correct your spelling
theft
threads
, that's why
peopleshould
Correct your spelling
people should
be very
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
with what they put on social
media
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine was on a
holiyday
Correct your spelling
holiday
trip with her family,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
momment
Correct your spelling
moment
she shared her location on
snap
Add an article
the snap
a snap
show examples
app it
did take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
no longer than 10 minutes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they were attacked by
unknown
Add an article
an unknown
show examples
group, sadly they
stealed
Correct your spelling
stole
show examples
everything they had. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no easy answers
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
tend to believe that some personal information should be kept private .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to have clear reasons for both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to improve flow and connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check spelling and grammar for simple mistakes.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which is good.
task achievement
Your example is relevant and shows a real-life situation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: