IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people belive that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, imroving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a growing belief among many individuals that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high
school
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 education. Activities
such
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 as working for a charity, improving the local environment, or teaching
sports
Use synonyms
 to younger children are seen as valuable experiences. I strongly agree with
this
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 idea, and in the following essay, I will explain my viewpoint in detail before concluding.
Firstly
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,
students
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 in junior high
school
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 should be encouraged to take part in donation drives and charity work within their communities.
Such
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 initiatives not only promote a culture of giving but
also
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 provide direct support to individuals and families in need, particularly those from low-income backgrounds. These experiences can help
students
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 understand real-world challenges and develop empathy and social responsibility.
For instance
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, many
students
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 struggle to afford
school
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 fees, and
school
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-organized donation campaigns can help alleviate
this
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 burden through community support.
Secondly
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, involving
students
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 in
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 improvement activities,
such
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 as cleaning public spaces or distributing food to the less fortunate, can greatly enhance their confidence and self-worth. These tasks encourage teamwork, responsibility, and civic pride.
Furthermore
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, schools should incorporate
sports
Use synonyms
 education as a mandatory component of the curriculum. Physical activity is essential for a healthy lifestyle and contributes to both physical and mental well-being.
For example
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, at my brother’s
school
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,
students
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 participate in a daily one-hour
sports
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 session, which helps them stay active, reduce stress, and maintain focus throughout the day. In conclusion, making unpaid community service a required part of the high
school
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 curriculum would provide numerous advantages. It fosters social awareness, physical health, and personal development. Engaging
students
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 in charity work,
sports
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, and
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 improvement prepares them to become responsible, compassionate, and well-rounded individuals.

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coherence
Try to use clearer transitions between your main points to make your argument flow better. For instance, using words like 'firstly' and 'secondly' helps the reader follow your ideas more smoothly.
coherence
Make sure to end with a more summarizing closing statement that ties back to your introduction and reinforces your main argument.
task achievement
Add more examples or elaborate on your ideas to provide deeper insights. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that encapsulates your main points.
examples
You provided relevant examples to illustrate your viewpoints, showing a solid understanding of the topic.
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