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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In certain countries, the number of people who use bicycle as the mean means of transport is reducing, even though it is beneficial, both physically and environmentally. What can be the reasons for this change in preference, how can people be in courage to use bicycles

All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cycling is fruitful for
individuals
Use synonyms
, physical
health
Use synonyms
 and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, yet the usage of
bikes
Use synonyms
 as
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
transport
Change preposition
of transport
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 is reducing day by day in many countries. The advancement of technology in automobiles and difficulties
to access
Change preposition
in accessing
show examples
 long distances by
Use synonyms
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
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 are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 tendency. The public can be dedicated to
cycles
Wrong verb form
cycling
show examples
 by governments by implementing new plans for bike users and addressing
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 benefits gained by cycling. The primary
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why there is
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
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 in
Use synonyms
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of
bicycles
Use synonyms
 by people is that the technological advancements in motor vehicles
fascinates
Change the verb form
fascinate
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 to buy cars for travelling purposes, making them less interested in riding
bicycles
Use synonyms
. By using modern vehicles,
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 can reach his destination in very less time, leaving much of the time left to be used productively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, commuting long distances by bicycle is nearly impossible
due to
Linking Words
 which working
individuals
Use synonyms
 choose alternative means of transport to access their workplace. Riding a bike requires
large
Add an article
a large
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 amount of energy which in return would
affect
Wrong verb form
affects
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users
Change noun form
users'
user's
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 work output in performing tasks
whereas
Linking Words
task
Correct article usage
the task
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 performance of car travellers remains unaffected because they travel quickly without using much of their energy. A viable measure to motivate
individuals
Use synonyms
 to
use
Use synonyms
bicycles
Use synonyms
 is that governing bodies must introduce rewarding programmes for cyclists in order to attract new riders.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
administration
Add an article
the administration
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 must take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
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 to set
limit
Add an article
a limit
show examples
 on
distance
Correct article usage
the distance
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 travelled by motor vehicles, the exceeding distance must result in
imposition
Add an article
the imposition
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 of fines which will promote
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
bikes
Use synonyms
 for local
use
Use synonyms
.
The another
Remove the article
Another
show examples
 step must be taken on
individual
Add an article
an individual
show examples
 basis, analysing the
health
Use synonyms
 benefits of riding
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
. Presently, workers have to sit for long hours in front of computers.
Due to
Linking Words
 professional lifestyle, physical well-being is lagging behind which can
be enhances
Change the verb form
be enhanced
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
bikes
Use synonyms
. Employers must
also
Linking Words
 introduce cycling plans for the employees to maintain
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life. In conclusion, the major causes of
decreasing
Correct article usage
the decreasing
show examples
 trend of bicycle
use
Use synonyms
 are
development
Add an article
the development
a development
show examples
 of technical approaches in the field of automobiles and
difficult
Correct article usage
the difficult
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 accessibility of long distances by
bikes
Use synonyms
 which can be tackled by the implementation of new policies for cycling by law-makers and personal acknowledgement of
health
Use synonyms
 benefits.

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coherence
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task achievement
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coherence
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea. This helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present relevant ideas.
coherence
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps show the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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