IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now "one big traffic jam" How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people form using their cars?

Increase
Correct article usage
The increase
show examples
 in amount of car owners has caused the
problem
Use synonyms
 of
traffic
Use synonyms
 because of
rise
Add an article
the rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the population and
migration
Correct article usage
the migration
show examples
 of people from rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 to
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 in huge numbers .
Thus
Linking Words
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take some steps like providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good public transport and
widden
Correct your spelling
widening
roads
Use synonyms
 .
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of cars
have been grew
Wrong verb form
has grown
show examples
since
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 30 years and it created the
problem
Use synonyms
 of
traffic
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the globe .
Firstly
Linking Words
, the best and
fast
Correct word choice
fastest
show examples
 public transportation with good
connectivitiy
Correct your spelling
connectivity
can solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 , in New Delhi , India government introduced
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
 in order to solve issues related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
 . Not only metro is very clean and efficient it
also
Linking Words
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 the time to reach
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one place to another
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a cheaper price , which
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
 residents of
delhi
Change the capitalization
Delhi
show examples
 to use
subway
Add an article
the subway
show examples
 more .
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 department can
widden
Correct your spelling
design
roads
Use synonyms
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to make travelling
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
 specially in older cities where
roads
Use synonyms
 were constructed
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time ago .
This
Linking Words
 change is needed as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
before normally no one had cars , but now almost everyone owns cars and we need bigger
roads
Use synonyms
 . In my view ,
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 of
traffic
Use synonyms
 congestion can be solved if we try to make some changes in
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 infrastructure by
widdening
Correct your spelling
widening
roads
Use synonyms
 and introducing fast and
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 like subways, metro and bullet trains .

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction could be clearer. Try to restate the question clearly and outline your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly states your opinion.
task achievement
Add more examples and details to support your arguments. This will help make your ideas clearer and stronger.
task achievement
You have made some good points about public transport and road widening to solve traffic issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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