IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In developing countries, rural children have less access to education.some people say that this problem is solved bquestoiy providing teachers and schools. Other think that computer and internet should be provided. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Education is a fundamental human right and is vital for
Correct article usage
the developnment
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developnment
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development
 of an individual and
the
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apply
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society
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for developing countries, where poverty is one the prominent concerns.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that in rural
areas
Use synonyms
, teachers and schools should be added to help deal with
issue
Add an article
the issue
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, others argue that
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 can
diminsh
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diminish
 the problem. I strongly believe that the former opinion has an upper hand here.
To begin
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 with, access to the basic level of the education is right of every individual and there should be sufficient resources and infrastructure for the same.
For example
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, it is seen that many children nowadays, though are very talented
but
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apply
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struggle because they don't have access to
good
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a good
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 education.
Therefore
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, more educational places and mentors will definitely allow every child in a village to have equal opportunity to succeed.
In contrast
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,
Internet
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the Internet
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 and computers can
further
Linking Words
 broaden their knowledge in any specific field they have
interest
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an interest
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in
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apply
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. It provides
flexibity
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flexibility
 and easy accessibility to master
areas
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 they are good at. It can be contradicted
with
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by
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 the factor that, it will be beneficial to a
fewer
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smaller
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 community rather than the whole.
For instance
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, those who want to ace in specific roles and careers.
Where as
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Whereas
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,
the
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apply
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educational institutions
nurther
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further
nurture
 every individual
starting
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starts
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 from the basics.
Moreover
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,
school
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the school
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 teaches serious commitment and discipline
everyday
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every day
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 to enhance their skills alternatively,
while
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 learning online children
procastinate
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procrastinate
 their tasks and become lazy. In my opinion, in the
areas
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 where even there is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of bare minimum facilities,
firstly
Linking Words
 the focus should be to provide more educational institutions and better mentors to help focus and reduce the major issues
such
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 as poverty and easy access to all which will in turn, boost the economy of the nation.
Though
Correct word choice
However
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, it cannot be denied that
internet
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the internet
show examples
 and computers can be beneficial to expand their expertise in
areas
Use synonyms
were
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 they want to focus more and enhance personal success.
Therefore
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,
by
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apply
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giving priority to the former idea with a little balance towards the latter will help to have a better just and
a
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apply
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developed society as a whole.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summary. This will make it clear what you believe.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better. Words like 'furthermore' or 'however' can help with this.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are specific and relevant to the point you are making.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and discuss both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is engaging and sets the stage well for your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational infrastructure
  • face-to-face instruction
  • qualified teachers
  • digital education
  • e-learning
  • internet access
  • flexible curriculum
  • isolated areas
  • practical challenges
  • cost and logistics
  • maintaining schools
  • digital infrastructure
  • hybrid approach
  • blended learning environment
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