IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People spend less time at home than they used to. What are the reasons for this change and what are effects on society and individuals.

Nowadays most
people
Use synonyms
 are eager to hang out with friends or simply to spend
time
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 out of
home
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. In my opinion,
this
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 is mostly
due to
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 the high cost of
houses
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 and the consequent reduction of space to host guests at
home
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. For that reason, there are significant
transformation
Fix the agreement mistake
transformations
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 in the way
people
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 spend
time
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 and socialize, causing
also
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 crucial issues for public administrators
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 managing public
spaces
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. In my opinion, the rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
houses'
Change noun form
houses
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 is the main reason why
people
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 choose to spend
time
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 out,
for instance
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 going
at
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 restaurant,
instead
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 of dining at
home
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.
Although
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Add a comma
areas,
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 the prices are still affordable, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban contexts
houses
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 are increasingly expensive and families are likely to buy smaller apartments than before.
For instance
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, the cost of
houses
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 in Milan has increased
of
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by
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 30% in just five years. In comparison, workers
earns
Change the verb form
earn
show examples
 only 8% more. Recent research
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 ISTAT, the Italian Institute for Research, shows that in the same
period
Add a comma
period,
show examples
 a reduction of 25% in the size of the
houses
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 bought by families has occurred . The main consequence of
this
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 process is that
people
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 meet out,
for instance
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 going to the restaurant to celebrate happenings or just meeting in public
spaces
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. On the one hand,
this
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 represents a positive aspect as public
spaces
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 become crowded
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
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.
In
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addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 restaurants, shopping centres and other commercial activities thrive.
On the other hand
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, there is an evident drawback for the families,
due to
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 the cost of
this
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 lifestyle.
In particular
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,
people
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 belonging to lower classes might not have enough money,
therefore
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 they often
occupies
Change the verb form
occupy
show examples
 public
spaces
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 like parks, treating them as their personal space and leaving them in bad condition, dirty and ruined. In conclusion, I think that the phenomenon
to spend
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of spending
show examples
time
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 out of
home
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 is not necessarily spontaneous but it is mainly related to the lack of room at
home
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.
This
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 drives
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 consequences
as well as
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 crucial issues, which should be better managed by public administrations to preserve public open
spaces
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,
thus
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 allowing the whole community to benefit from them.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all sentences in that paragraph support it.
task achievement
The use of specific data and examples, such as the percentage increase in house prices in Milan, adds credibility to your argument.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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