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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information abiut changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information abiut changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table provides data about modes of transportation in England between 1985 and 2000. In 1985, about 225
miles
Use synonyms
has been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 taken by walking,
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 amount
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
 in
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000 (237). The highest
distance
Use synonyms
 was travelled by car in both
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
3.199
Change preposition
of 3.199
show examples
 in 1985 and 4.806 in 2000. Around 400
Use synonyms
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 were taken by local
bus
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 and other transportation, the
drop down
Add a hyphen
drop-down
show examples
 289 by train. Only about 50
miles
Use synonyms
 people like to use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 and
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
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distance
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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.
Than
Replace the word
Then
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 decrease to 13
miles
Use synonyms
 by taxi. In 2000, other
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of transportation overtook the level in total 585. Transport by train
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 in 2000, up to 366
miles
Use synonyms
, but the local
bus
Use synonyms
 was feel to 274.
However
Linking Words
, higher
miles
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply increased to more than 100 with
long
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
distance
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
, it is very good growth. The
number
Use synonyms
 slightly goes down to 40 in 2000 with
method
Add an article
the method
a method
show examples
 of
travell
Correct your spelling
travelling
 by bicycle and taxi. In summary,
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 was taken in 2000 in total 6.475
miles
Use synonyms
, only about 4.740 in 1985.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they still have
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 in the end.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words miles, distance, bus, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • travel
  • popular
  • percentage
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • common
  • usage
  • opt
  • transport
  • shift
  • motorized
  • public
  • method
  • feature
  • indicate
  • preference
  • significant
  • slight
  • overall
  • grow
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