IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
the pie chart illustrates the generated electricity in
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 from renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 and other
sources
Use synonyms
 in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, both countries
depends
Change the verb form
depend
show examples
 on renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 very less
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other
sources
Use synonyms
.
France
Use synonyms
 is
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on Nuclear power,
while
Linking Words
Germany
Use synonyms
is relaying
Wrong verb form
relies
show examples
 on conventional thermal
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
. In terms of natural
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
Germany
Use synonyms
 used Biomass and wind power and
France
Use synonyms
 used
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of hydroelectric
energy
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, thermal
energy
Use synonyms
 59.6% was used by
Germany
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 used 76% nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
 compared to 23% used by
Germany
Use synonyms
.
France
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 very less
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 to use thermal
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
around 10.%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
combined
Correct article usage
the combined
show examples
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 in
Germany
Use synonyms
 is more
by
Change preposition
than
show examples
 50 Billion Kwh
at
Change preposition
per
show examples
560Billion
Correct your spelling
560 billion
 kwh.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in renewable
sources
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 used by both
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
,
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
France
Use synonyms
 used
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
less
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 amount of solar
energy
Use synonyms
 less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 a single percentage.
Germany
Use synonyms
 used around 94% of their
energy
Use synonyms
 from biomass,wind and hydroelectric
sources
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 used
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 80.5% renewable power only from hydroelectric current.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, france, sources, energy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • electricity generation
  • renewable sources
  • conventional thermal
  • nuclear power
  • hydroelectric power
  • biomass
  • wind energy
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • significant
  • contributor
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