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Writing Samples
Band 7

THE BAR CHART BELOW GIVES INFOMATION ABOOUT THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS STUDYING COMPUTER SCIENCE AT A uk university between 2010 and 2012. Summerise the info by selecting the main features, and making comparision where relavent.

THE BAR CHART BELOW GIVES INFOMATION ABOOUT THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS STUDYING COMPUTER SCIENCE AT A uk university between 2010 and 2012. Summerise the info by selecting the main features, and making comparision where relavent.
The bar charts
compares
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compare
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 the number of men and women, and the percentage of international and British
students
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 who attended computer science in a university in the UK over a 2-year period
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of local
students
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 was the highest throughout the period shown. The percentage of international male
students
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 experienced a significant increase,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figures
female
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for female
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 international
students
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 slightly grew. In 2010, The proportion of British men and women attending the computer science course was around 39% and 33%, respectively. The percentage of local male
students
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 dropped to
nealy
Correct your spelling
nearly
 25%,
while
Linking Words
 that
for
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of
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 females rose dramatically to almost 45% in 2011. By 2012, the values for both British men and women taking that course reached just under 45%. In regard to international
students
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, the figures for males grew substantially from 20% in 2010 to just below 40% in 2012.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of international females joining that course started at around 14% and increased moderately to exactly 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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