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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many cities, people are facing increasingly high levels of noise pollution. What are the main causes of this problem? What solutions could be implemented to reduce it?

Inhabitants of urban areas are now suffering from elevated levels of
sound
Use synonyms
pollution
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. The origin of
this
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 stems from two main factors and several remedies appear to be possible to tackle
this
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 issue. The rapid expansion of industrial complexes in cities is one of the main contributors.
This
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 is because a typical factory is usually located within a community and its machines operate for long hours producing goods.
Thus
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, they produce large amounts of
sound
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 that disturb
people
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 living nearby constantly.
Secondly
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, the rise in usage of vehicles
further
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 contributes to
noise
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pollution
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. Cars and motorcycles are the preferred modality of transportation in modern cities,
this
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 means that
people
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 would frequently have to endure the
sound
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 of horns and engines driving by which impacts their quality of living. One of the most efficient ways to reduce
noise
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pollution
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 is to build
factories
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 outside urban areas.
This
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 would result in a more calm and peaceful environment for individuals without the disturbance of machinery working. At the same time, ensuring that these
factories
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 are working efficiently. Promoting public transportation is one possible remedy to hinder the progress of
noise
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pollution
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. Governmental agencies can advocate for its citizens to use buses and trains
instead
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 of cars.
This
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 could ensure that
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
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 are driving,
hence
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, less
noise
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 is made. In summary, there is a growing concern
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
sound
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pollution
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 that has been rising
due to
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 the
vigorus
Correct your spelling
vigorous
 revolution of industrial complexes;
such
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 as
factories
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, and the growing usage of cars by
people
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.
This
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 issue could be
addressd
Correct your spelling
addressed
 by advocating for public transport through governmental authorities and building
factories
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 outside
densly
Correct your spelling
densely
 populated urban areas.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction and add more specific examples throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between your ideas to help the reader understand your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Revise the conclusion to summarize the main points more strongly and include a final thought.
task achievement
You identified the main causes of noise pollution well and provided reasonable solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The structure is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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