IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people now use social media as their primary source of news and information. Why has this happened? What problems can it cause for individuals and society?

Nowadays, a lot of people tend to rely on social
media
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 as the main source for
news
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 and information and one of the biggest reasons is that social
media
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 platforms make it easier to find
news
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 online. And
while
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 it is indeed an easier way, it can make individuals vulnerable to fake
news
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. Members of society heavily depend on social
media
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 to find out the latest updates on every topic like sports and politics and what
this
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 means is that not many people are still using the classic ways like newspapers and
news
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 channels and
instead
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, they use their phones to check everything.
For example
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, back when I was a kid, I would always find my grandmother watching the
news
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, but right now, she doesn’t do it anymore because she can find almost everything with a simple search on Google. One of the biggest issues that
this
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 trend causes is that it makes rumours easily accessible. Some creators on social
media
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 enjoy spreading fake
news
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 because it gives their accounts more impressions and comments.
For instance
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, ever since Twitter started paying their users money based on how many views they get for their posts,
main-stream
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mainstream
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 accounts started using fake
news
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 to get exposure.
To conclude
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, the public
use
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uses
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 internet sources to find
news
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 and information, and in my opinion,
internet
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the internet
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 is more efficient as a source for
news
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,
however
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, persons should be careful because many accounts spread hearsay to seek views.

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task achievement
Add more details to support your points and explain your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between ideas to help your essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and spelling mistakes.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the main idea about social media and news.
task achievement
You provided a personal example which makes your essay relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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