IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many believe that being good at a sport is the result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

It is argued
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
 that having a good command
in
Change preposition
of
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 physical activities is the outcome of the
skills
Use synonyms
 that a person
possess
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses
show examples
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that hard
work
Use synonyms
 makes an individual better at a sport.
According to
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 me, both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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arguments are relevant as talent
amd
Correct your spelling
and
 hard
work
Use synonyms
,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are essential for being an expert.
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views in detail followed by my opinion. To commence with, the abilities and
skills
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 of a person
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 a sportsperson to do good in an activity.
In other words
Linking Words
, some
people
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 acquire
god gifted
Add a hyphen
god-gifted
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talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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 or
skills
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 which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 them unique from other
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, a survey conducted in Africa provided that 90 per cent of the top racers who participated in marathons were able to run fast since their childhood.
Thus
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, the talent that one
possess assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
possesses assists
show examples
 a person to achieve success in their lives. Sometimes
people
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 do their best to learn an aspect of
sports
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 that
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 inherited
skills
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such
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 as strong willpower, but they end
at
Change preposition
up
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 giving up because even after
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 they find it difficult to perform better. On the
othe
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, it is firmly believed that 'hard
work
Use synonyms
 is the key to success' and 'practice makes a man perfect'. An individual can achieve anything they want if they are determined and compassionate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 doing so. There are many cricketers, hockey players and golf lovers who have improved their performance in different
sports
Use synonyms
 by practicing
regulary
Correct your spelling
regularly
.
For example
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, Virat Kohli, an ex-captain of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 cricket team
higlighted
Correct your spelling
highlighted
 in a podcast that he used to practice for 10 hours daily for being able to
get
Verb problem
be
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 selected
in
Change preposition
for
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cricket
Add an article
the cricket
a cricket
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 team.
Therefore
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, dedication and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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 can achieve anything
either
Correct word choice
whether
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 it is doing good at
sports
Use synonyms
 or
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
To conclude
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, though inherited
skills
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 play a significant role in developing
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
show examples
 of an individual
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
I think that practicing and doing hard
work
Use synonyms
 can definitely lead
sports
Use synonyms
 persons to achieve success in their lives.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar more carefully, as small mistakes can affect your overall score.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is great!
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, setting a good foundation for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innate abilities
  • Genetics
  • Exceptional skills
  • Training
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Practice
  • Continuous improvement
  • Natural predisposition
  • Hone skills
  • Supportive environment
  • Coaching
  • Opportunities
  • Amplify attributes
  • Case studies
  • Evidence
  • Raw talent
  • Relentless hard work
  • Combination
  • Early signs
What to do next:
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