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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The pie chart demonstrated the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial,
Use synonyms
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
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 and domestic
use
Use synonyms
 in six areas of the world.
The
Correct determiner usage
Agriculture
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agriculture
Use synonyms
 made up the
most
Correct word choice
largest
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 portion of
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in South
America
Use synonyms
, Africa, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the
inudustrial
Correct your spelling
industrial
use
Use synonyms
dominanted
Correct your spelling
dominated
 in North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe. It is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the
most
Correct word choice
largest
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part
Check wording
user
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in
Change preposition
of
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water
Use synonyms
used
Verb problem
apply
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(88%) not only in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 among
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all six areas of the world. Africa,
South East
Use the right word
Southeast
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Asia
Use synonyms
 and South
America
Use synonyms
 followed at 84%, 82% and 71%, respectively. What's more, the industrial
use
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constituted
Verb problem
accounted
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to
Change preposition
for
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 the least in South
America
Use synonyms
 at 10%, Africa at 7% and Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 at 5%.
While
Linking Words
 the domestic
use
Use synonyms
 contributed
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the least in South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 at 7%.
However
Linking Words
, in the developed countries, North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe, the industrial
use
Use synonyms
 was the largest
portions
Fix the agreement mistake
portion
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption at 48% and 53% respectively, followed by the
Use synonyms
agriculture
Replace the word
agricultural
show examples
use
Use synonyms
 (39% and xx%) and the domestic
use
Use synonyms
 (13% and xx%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, agriculture, use, america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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