IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of how people
use
Use synonyms
 water for different purposes in six different regions of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,the agricultural
used
Replace the word
use of
 water accounted for the highest percentage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most regions,except in Europe and North
Use synonyms
America
Punctuation problem
America,
show examples
 where the
use
Use synonyms
 of water for industrial
took
Check wording
purposes took
show examples
up
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
leader sector
Check wording
lead
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 the domestic
use
Use synonyms
 constituted the minimum rate,with the exception of South
America
Use synonyms
 and
Africa
Use synonyms
. In
details
Check wording
detail
show examples
,agricultural
use
Use synonyms
 took up the highest rate in South
America
Use synonyms
,
Africa
Use synonyms
,Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and Southern
Asia
Use synonyms
,at 71%, 84%, 88 % and 81% respectively .In South
America
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Africa
Punctuation problem
, Africa
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 Central
Asia
Use synonyms
,domestic consumption accounted for the
secondary highest
Correct word choice
second-highest
show examples
 proportion,
while
Linking Words
 the industrial
use
Use synonyms
 in Southeast
Asia
Use synonyms
 made up the
share of the same level
Correct word order
same level of share
show examples
.The
figure
Correct subject-verb agreement
figures
show examples
 for domestic
use
Use synonyms
 in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 were the same,both accounting for 7%,with the same figure for industrial
use
Use synonyms
 in
Africa
Use synonyms
. The industrial
use
Use synonyms
 accounted for the largest proportion in North
America
Use synonyms
 and Europe,at around 48% and 53% respectively.Followed by agriculture
use
Use synonyms
constituted
Correct pronoun usage
, which constituted
show examples
 39% and 32%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the figure in terms of domestic consumption was the lowest,
took
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 up 13% and 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, america, africa, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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