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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

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The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The pie charts compare the proportions of
water
Use synonyms
 used for agricultural, industrial and domestic purposes in six different
regions
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 of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 was the main consumer of
water
Use synonyms
 in four of the six
regions
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 industry accounted for the largest share in
Europe
Use synonyms
 and North
America
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest percentage of agricultural
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Europe
Use synonyms
 had the greatest proportion allocated to industrial purposes. In
Europe
Use synonyms
 and North
America
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, industries
consumed
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
 the largest amounts of
water
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. In
Europe
Use synonyms
, industries accounted for 53% of total
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
, with 32% for
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and 15% for domestic purposes.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in North
America
Use synonyms
, 48% of
water
Use synonyms
 was used by industry,
while
Linking Words
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and household consumption with 39% and 13%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
agriculture
Use synonyms
 dominated
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in the remaining four
regions
Use synonyms
. Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 had the highest proportion of
agricultural
Replace the word
agriculture
 with 88%, followed by Africa at 84% and South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 at 81%. South
America
Use synonyms
 at 71%. Domestic
use
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 was most significant in South
America
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, where it accounted for 19%,
while
Linking Words
 industrial
use
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 remained comparatively low in all four
regions
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, ranging from 5% in Central
Asia
Use synonyms
 to 12% in South East
Asia
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, regions, agriculture, europe, america, asia, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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