IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 for different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 in six areas of the world. Most countries consume the majority of their
water
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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agricultural
use
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,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
water
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 used in their industrial sector is relatively low.
Similarly
Linking Words
, other countries with high
water
Use synonyms
usage
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industrial development have a relatively small proportion of
water
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 consumption in agriculture.
Overall
Linking Words
, South America, Africa, Central Asia, and South East Asia all consume the majority of their
water
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 resources
to
Change preposition
for
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 agricultural
use
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. Specifically, their agricultural
water
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 consumption accounts for 71%, 84%, 88%, and 81% of total
water
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usage
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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,
which
Correct word choice
and
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 the number of agricultural
water
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Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
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 even exceeds the sum of industrial and domestic
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in each region.
By contrast
Linking Words
, North America and Europe invest numerous
water
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resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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to
Change preposition
in
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 industrial activities. In North America, industrial
use
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 accounts for 48% of total
water
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 consumption
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is larger than its agricultural
use
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 (39%) and domestic
use
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 (13%). Europe follows a similar pattern
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 its industrial
use
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 makes up 53% of its
water
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usage
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,
while
Linking Words
 agricultural and domestic
use
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 represent 32% and 15% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, usage, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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