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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think educational success depends upon good teacher, others believe that it depends upon attitude of the students. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is thought that academic success relies on good
teachers
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.
However
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, some people think it depends on the
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students'
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student's
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 behaviour. I totally side with the latter opinion because the
attitude
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 of
students
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 determines how they
percieve
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perceive
 new information. Some individuals attribute educational success
on
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to
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 how good the
teachers
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 are since they know how to convey lessons properly.
Teachers
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 who have experience dealing with different
type
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types
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 of
students
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,
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apply
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 are usually experts at teaching new skills and ideas.
As a result
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, their
students
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 will find it easy to ace their exams and succeed.
For instance
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, university
students
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 who are taught by experienced lecturers, perform way better than the ones who are not.
Although
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 many people believe in that, I think that the
attitude
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 of the student plays a more significant role.
Students
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'
attitude
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 can heavily impact their academic performance because it affects how they
absorp
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absorb
 information. If
students
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 are careless and do not put effort
to
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into
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 focus during class, they will not retain any new taught information. Even if
teachers
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 did their best to teach,
students
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 who did not pay attention would not learn effectively.
For example
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, children who are forced by their parents to attend high-quality
mathematic
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mathematics
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 lessons, do not score as high as the other
students
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 who are excited and eager to learn.
To conclude
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, educational performance depends on different factors. Some people point out that it depends more on how good the
teachers
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 are, but some think it relies more on the learners'
attitude
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. I totally agree that it is influenced more by the
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students'
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student's
show examples
 behaviour since it affects how they
percieve
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perceive
 the taught materials.

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your view better.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to help guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument. Great job framing the discussion!
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion nicely sums up your perspective and reinforces your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educational success
  • good teacher
  • student attitude
  • motivation
  • academic achievement
  • engagement
  • support
  • interconnected
  • educational systems
  • academic performance
  • learning environment
  • inspire
  • foster
  • effort
  • positive attitude
  • connect
  • thrive
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