IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that media have the right to publish details of people's private lives, while others think it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

there have been concepts which say certain
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
 aspects that the
news
Use synonyms
 have their own
feild
Correct your spelling
field
 to share
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 with others.
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 argue that it will be personal and
hiddenbecause
Correct your spelling
hidden because
 it
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
Change preposition
to
show examples
the spread of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
nagetivity
Correct your spelling
negativity
. But both perspectives hold significant value and
this
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 explore each viewpoint before presenting my opinion conclusion.
Firslty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
 the main reason
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 everyone
hastheir
Correct your spelling
has their
 own personal lives whatever every
pupilwho
Correct your spelling
pupil who
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 connected to any family any celebrities and every agency have their privacy and they have to
choose
Add the particle
choose to
show examples
 apply all things going through in their life it should be private.
For example
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
film stars
are acting
Wrong verb form
act
show examples
 with their co-stars and social television
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improvisedtheir
Correct your spelling
improvised their
news
Use synonyms
 like they have an affair but it has their own life
there
Correct your spelling
where
show examples
 no one can interfere
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 work.
therefore
Linking Words
 it will be affect emotionally the disturbance that declares
unethicale
Correct your spelling
unethical
 action.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe social media have their degree to gather information and expose the world.but they should
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 appropriate ways to
conduct
Verb problem
collect
show examples
 data about other communities and societies,
therefore
Linking Words
then
Linking Words
 they upload their content it will not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
impact
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other mental health
for instance
Linking Words
 , one of my
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
 related to
Correct article usage
a famouse
show examples
famouse
Correct your spelling
famous
 publishing agency has to important note regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
government policies
.ultimately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
,she upload the
news
Use synonyms
 with elegancy and without propaganda.
to conclude
Linking Words
 that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 everyone should have to right to hide their private life
instead
Linking Words
 those radios
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have to spread false allegations should be banned because they influence and disturb others' lives.

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improvement
Your introduction should clearly state the topic and your opinion. Try to use simple and clear sentences.
improvement
Make sure your paragraphs are well-structured. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
improvement
Use clearer examples that directly support your main points in each paragraph. This helps the reader understand your ideas better.
strength
You have tried to discuss both views, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
strength
Your conclusion clearly states your opinion, which is important in an argumentative essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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