: Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Prison
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is not always helpful in preventing
criminals
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. The question is, There is a part of the
community
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that does not agree with sending
criminals
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to
prison
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, they believe there are
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
ways can help. In my opinion, The
government
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should not send all the
criminals
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to
prison
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, It depends on their
crimes
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. In
this
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essay, I am going to introduce the main ideas and give my opinion. First of all, there are many
criminals
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around the world,
Therefore
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, We had better find an effective way
instead
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of sending them to
prison
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. so we have to divide it into high-risk
crimes
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and
mid-level
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crimes
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. in terms of
a high-risk
Correct the article-noun agreement
high-risk crimes
a high-risk crime
show examples
crimes
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, We should send them to
prison
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because they are dangerous people,
moreover
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, they can negatively affect the
community
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.
for instance
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, In Saudi Arabia, The
government
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always send dangerous
criminals
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to
prison
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with long-term penalties.
However
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,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminals
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are
mid-level
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Use synonyms
crimes
Replace the word
criminals
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,
moreover
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, they can help the
community
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and their
family
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families
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if the
government
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find an effective way. they can learn about some knowledge in 6 months and
then
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, they will help the
government
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and work with them hand-working with a low salary as a penalty.
for instance
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, in
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
, The
mid-level
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criminals
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go to a college for 4 months and
then
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they work to build towers. In conclusion, I would argue that education and training are effective ways for
mid-level
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criminals
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. the high-risk
criminals
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can not learn or train because the
community
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might be affected by them. Kim Rym

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion. Make it more clear.
task achievement
There are some grammar mistakes and punctuation errors. Check them carefully.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas better.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion that the government should not send all criminals to prison.
task achievement
You gave specific examples to support your views, like the example from Saudi Arabia and China.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prison
  • criminals
  • effective
  • education
  • training
  • dealing
  • jobs
  • skills
  • change
  • behavior
  • rehabilitation
  • programs
  • repeat offenses
  • community
  • service
  • results
  • environment
  • harsh
  • focus
  • reduce
  • crime
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