IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

There are seven age groups in
this
Linking Words
 Bar Chat, between 25 to 70 ages. The income
shows
Wrong verb form
is shown
show examples
 in dark colour and
expensive
Correct word choice
the expenses are
show examples
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in light blue. 25 and 75
group
Use synonyms
 people getting salary in between 30000 to 35000 thousand pounds and expensive
also
Linking Words
 same. 25 to 34 and 65 to 74
group
Use synonyms
 employees getting between 50000 to 60000
dolors
Change the spelling
dolours
show examples
 for
aunom
Correct your spelling
Au nom
 expends between below 58000 almost 20%
deference
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
 between expenses and earnings.
Third
Correct article usage
The third
show examples
group
Use synonyms
35to44
Correct your spelling
is 35 to 44
 and 45 to 54
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are earning in high salaries
80000
Change preposition
of 80000
show examples
 pounds
expencives
Correct your spelling
expenses
 are very reasonable below 60000 pounds they
are saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 almost 30%. And
Linking Words
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 55 to 64 age
group
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are
also
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 good earners like 7000 to 78000
dolors
Change the spelling
dolours
show examples

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly describe each age group's income and expenses. It helps the reader to understand the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the information better by using clear paragraphs and connecting words. This helps your writing to flow smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Use correct spelling and grammar in your writing. This will make your points clearer to the reader.
task achievement
You provided some interesting comparisons between income and expenses of different age groups.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trend
  • Pattern
  • Fluctuation
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Comparison
  • Relationship
  • Correlation
  • Significant
  • Implication
  • Prediction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: