IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways, while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as buses, trains, and subways. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Several
people
Use synonyms
 think that
official
Correct article usage
the official
show examples
 authority must spend
money
Use synonyms
 on
Use synonyms
roads
Fix the agreement mistake
road
show examples
 and
highways
Change the noun form
highway
show examples
 improvement ,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that more amount should be spent on improving
road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
 like trains and buses. Every person has their own point of view. In
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views. On one hand, there are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of individuals who think that government should take care of
road
Use synonyms
 and highway maintenance by spending more and more. There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 think about
road
Use synonyms
 and highway maintenance. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 there are several climate and weather conditions
due to
Linking Words
 which a good
road
Use synonyms
 is extremely important for
a
Remove the article
road transport
a means of road transport
a mode of road transport
show examples
road
Use synonyms
transport
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
rainy
Add an article
the rainy
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 season , it rains like cats and dogs.
Due to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
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 poor quality
roads
Use synonyms
 get easily damaged and can
also
Linking Words
 lead to
road
Use synonyms
 accidents. As per the survey conducted by Times of India , in the year
2020
Add a comma
2020,
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 many
people
Use synonyms
 died and got serious injuries
due to
Linking Words
 poor
road
Use synonyms
 conditions. Is is the reason
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 ask authorities to pay more
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 good quality
Use synonyms
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are numerous
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
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a
Change the article
an
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 opinion about spending more amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on public
transport
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 case , there are
also
Linking Words
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 think so. First of all, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will improvise the bus and train services. So,
people
Use synonyms
 will rely more on public
transport
Use synonyms
, which help to reduce the traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 on
roads
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, using trains and buses will help to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air and noise pollution as well. As per the survey conducted by Delhi
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
 in year 2020, the air quality degraded in Delhi, India.
Due to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
people
Use synonyms
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from breathing issues like asthma and allergies etc.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects are important.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 must take care of all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects from taking care of
roads
Use synonyms
 and
highway
Fix the agreement mistake
highways
show examples
 to spending
money
Use synonyms
 on public transportation as well.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve your paragraph structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea clearly.
task achievement
Make sure your examples directly support the points you are making. Use clearer examples.
coherence and cohesion
Edit carefully for grammar and spelling mistakes, like 'is is' instead of 'this is'.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which is good.
task achievement
The use of surveys to support your points is helpful.
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