IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that several short holidays from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and relevant examples

In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
world
Add a comma
world,
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 the issue of
school
Use synonyms
 holidays structure has sparked much debate. Some individuals believe that having multiple brief
school
Use synonyms
 breaks
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 beneficial but others argue that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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only
extended
Correct article usage
an extended
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 summer vacation each
year
Use synonyms
 is better for students. I completely agree
with
Change preposition
that
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 having multiple brief
school
Use synonyms
 breaks is more beneficial and will explain my reasons in the following paragraph.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one major advantage have several brief
school
Use synonyms
 holidays
that
Add a missing verb
is that
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 they help
Use synonyms
Add an article
the student
a student
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student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 avoid burnout and maintain more focus over the
year
Use synonyms
. Continuous long lesson
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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can stress and
tired
Replace the word
tiredness
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 which negatively
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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 learning. Brief
break
Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
show examples
 allow children
rest
Fix the infinitive
to rest
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 and recharge more often and improve concentration and
productive
Replace the word
productivity
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 when they return to class.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people argue that only long summer holiday offers for the
year
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 is better for children. During a long vocation
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can join summer camp travel to new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 or spend
effectively
Change the adverb
effective
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 time with family activities
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 might
difficult
Add a missing verb
be difficult
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into
Change preposition
in
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 shorter breaks.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 long holidays allow children involved
hobbies
Change preposition
in hobbies
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.
However
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, a long holiday can
also
Linking Words
 cause
student
Use synonyms
forget
Add the particle
to forget
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 some of what they learned
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 their performance when return
class
Fix the infinitive
to class
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. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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this
Linking Words
 short break over the
year
Use synonyms
 better
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 mental and academic performance.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to create clearer connections between your ideas. Each paragraph should have a main point that supports your overall view.
task achievement
Add more examples or situations to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument.
general
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes to improve your writing quality.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in the introduction, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the argument, showing you understand different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • burnout
  • rejuvenated
  • quality time
  • family experiences
  • uninterrupted break
  • hobbies
  • engage
  • disengage
  • structure of school
What to do next:
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