IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The detailed description about crime will affect the people and cause many social resources. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In the contemporary era, the
media
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in shaping the views of individuals in society.
This
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 has prompted the question of whether the details of a criminal case should be covered or not and if
such
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 cases should be highly regulated as it may lead to various social issues.
While
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 I somewhat agree with the former decision, still we cannot ignore the fact that
media
Use synonyms
 should be free from censorship.
To begin
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 with, proponents may suggest that the free
media
Use synonyms
 fosters the
deomcratic
Correct your spelling
democratic
 rights of freedom of expression which our country supports.
For example
Linking Words
, if reporters don't have the risk of censorship, they report issues which may get suppressed
otherwise
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, when the details about a particular case
is
Change the verb form
are
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 discussed it not only
heps
Correct your spelling
helps
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 other humans stay vigilant of
such
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 crimes but
also
Linking Words
 raises a question about who is responsible and how it could have been prevented.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, critics may argue that the
media
Use synonyms
 are just
senstionalising
Correct your spelling
sensationalising
such
Linking Words
 cases
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, it provokes emotional responses which adds more negativeness and drama to the situation and
Secondly
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,
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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 their viewerships.
Moreover
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, showing
inappropraite
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
 and in-depth details of the situation just creates more turmoil and leads to mental stress and depression among the citizens.
For instance
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, stories like these
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
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 to people lacking trust in institutions and government
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the freedom
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
media
Use synonyms
 may be supported in one way, I highly agree that there should be ethical guidelines and proper regulations about the level of information which can be shared
to
Change preposition
with
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public
Add an article
the public
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. It is undeniable that news channels just to create high-impact stories for their goals,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 cause lots of distress and distrust among the citizens.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
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accountability without compromising
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dignity we can have a more informed and trustworthy society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph directly supports your main idea and flows smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or real-life situations to strengthen your points.
accuracy
Be careful with spelling and grammar to enhance clarity. For example, 'deomcratic' should be 'democratic' and 'inappropraite' should be 'inappropriate'.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction that presents your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion.
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