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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about populations in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about populations in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table illustrates information about the populations between
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the categories of
this
Linking Words
 table are divided into total population, male, and female, birth rate, average annual population growth, and elderly. It is remarkable that the total
number
Use synonyms
 of people in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 in 2002,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest total
number
Use synonyms
 of people was placed in the same location in 1980. To dig deeper, the average of men and women is steadily equal for both locations by approximately 50 per cent,
while
Linking Words
 the birth rate in
Australia
Use synonyms
 is lower than in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, especially in 1980 by 2 per cent.
However
Linking Words
, the ratio of the elderly generation in
Australia
Use synonyms
 is higher than in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, specifically in 2002 by 8.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the proportion of growth seems equal in 1980 and 2002,
while
Linking Words
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 has a little more than
Australia
Use synonyms
 by about 1.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of humans in both places was the maximum in 2002, with 19.6 million and 24.2 million.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, malaysia, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • growth
  • increase
  • larger
  • smaller
  • area
  • million
  • year
  • comparison
  • features
  • rate
  • significantly
  • higher
  • density
  • around
  • approximately
  • period
  • higher
  • lower
  • information
  • reporting
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