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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007

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The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007
This
Linking Words
 line graph shows the average per
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 of the
fore
Use the right word
four
show examples
 European countries
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
UK
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
,Italy and Portugal
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 1967
to2007
Correct your spelling
to 2007
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 have been decreasing,
while
Linking Words
 those in Italy and Portugal have increased during
this
Linking Words
 period. Over the
40
Correct word choice
past 40
show examples
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 has consistently been the country with the highest
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
Use synonyms
emissions
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. Specifically, the per
Use synonyms
carbon
Correct word choice
capita carbon
show examples
dioxide
Use synonyms
emissions
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 gradually decreased from 11
tons
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in1967
Correct your spelling
in 1967
 to about 9
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2007.The
emissions
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 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
get
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 about 10.5
tons
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 in 2007 and
then
Linking Words
 dropped sharply to 5.5
tons
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 in 2007.
In contrast
Linking Words
 ,the
emissions
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 in Italy steadily increased from 4
tons
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 in 1967 to nearly 8
tons
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 in 1997 and
then
Linking Words
stabilized
Change the spelling
stabilised
show examples
. Portugal
initially
Linking Words
 had the lowest
emissions
Use synonyms
, but
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
emissions
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 increased significantly from 1.5
tons
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 to about 6
tons
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 in 2007 ,and exceeded those of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in the final years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, emissions, uk, sweden, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon dioxide emissions
  • per person
  • United Kingdom
  • Sweden
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • graph
  • compare
  • average
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • years
  • period
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