IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views

In recent times, the topic of whether upon graduating from senior high school, youngsters ought to keep on studying
further
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 or not.
While
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 individuals
ague
Correct your spelling
argue
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 that going on
studying
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to study
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university
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at university
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 or college will be
a
Change the article
the
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 best way in order to ensure a successful career, others believe that getting a job right after graduation is a wiser choice.
This
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 essay will provide a thorough examination of these contrasting perspectives. On the one hand, it is essential to acknowledge that individuals ought to recognize the significant advantages of starting work instantly after graduation.
Initially
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, thanks to working, the youth
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have the ability
of earning
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to earn
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 money at an early stage. Since they will likely be
nature
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natural
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 enough,
this
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 allows them to able to become independent
by
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on
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 their own income. It is evident that having a job which is
a
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an
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 opportunity
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them get a more grown-up version.
Secondly
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, those who choose to work
instead
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 of pursuing higher education may have a better chance of advancing swiftly in their careers.
This
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 not only helps them have
a
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apply
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multiple
of
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apply
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practical experiences but
also
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 develops necessary skills in their career path.
On the other hand
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, there are a variety of reasons why the young opt to continue studying after graduation. First and foremost,
collegue
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college
 and university education
equips
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equip
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 teenagers with meeting the requirement of
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
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,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 majority of employers today look
forwads
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forward
 to
this
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. What’s more, job markets
become
Wrong verb form
are becoming
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 more and more competitive. On account of the intense competition from hundreds of applicants, people are well-advised to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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remarkable
qualification
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qualifications
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 in order to secure the best jobs. Having a degree is an obvious advantage that graduates obtain. In Vietnam, students who graduate with a qualification in engineering are often well-paid and can easily hold good jobs.
To sum up
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, it is evident that both entering the workforce after high school and chasing higher education have their own specific benefits.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present both sides of the argument in each paragraph. This will help keep your ideas organized and clear.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and details to support your points. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Work on grammar and spelling to improve overall clarity. Mistakes can distract readers from your main ideas.
task achievement
You effectively introduce the topic and outline both views, which sets a clear direction for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, showing that you understand different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
What to do next:
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