IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one’s country exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one’s country exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the trade of different
goods
Use synonyms
 by a country during 2015 and
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 the table demonstrates the comparison of the proportion of variation in the export of these
goods
Use synonyms
 in 2016 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, a significant amount of petroleum and engineered
goods
Use synonyms
 were transported to other nations
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the demand for textiles has significantly increased in
the latter
Correct word choice
recent
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
. In 2015, the monetary value of petroleum
goods
Use synonyms
 and engineered products occupied
prominent
Correct article usage
a prominent
show examples
 position among other categories
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
 for approximately 6
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure rose by 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for the former and 8.5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 for the latter products in 2016.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 trend was located in the supply of germs and jewellery
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in
falling
Wrong verb form
a fall
show examples
 the trade
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by 5.18 per
cent
Use synonyms
. In
context
Correct article usage
the context
show examples
 of Agricultural products, the worth of the
goods
Use synonyms
 remained almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 at 40
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in both years
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 a gradual rise in the demand by 0.81 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the textiles experienced a dramatic
upliftment
Replace the word
uplift
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 by 15.4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 from 35
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015 to over 40
billion
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2016.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, billion, dollars, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: