IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth. However, some argue that it should prioritize addressing social and environmental issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many think that
innovation
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 is usually driven by the goal of making a profit and improving the economy, as it often leads to the creation of high-quality
products
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.
However
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, I stand on the same side as those who argue that the
innovation
Use synonyms
 should focus on addressing social and environmental challenges, as it will bring a greater
overall
Linking Words
 improvement in quality of life. On the one hand, some argue that
innovation
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 serves as a key to help
the
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apply
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economic growth by producing and selling
the
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apply
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well-designed
products
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 in the market. The advocates of
this
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 view claim that the competitiveness of
market
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the market
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 influences the corporations to invest heavily in research and development, allowing them to improve the existing
products
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 that fit
with
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apply
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the current market
need
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needs
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.
As a result
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, these well-developed
products
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 will attract more customers to buy
and
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apply
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, boosting sales and contributing to long-term economic expansion.
For instance
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, Samsung, one of the biggest smartphone manufacturers based in South Korea, is known for its regular gadget
innovation
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, which has led to increased global sales and a significant contribution to South Korea’s gross domestic product.
On the other hand
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, I side with those who concur that
innovation
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 should concentrate on addressing social and environmental
problem
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problems
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due to
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 the holistic impact to
overall
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 life it may bring.
This
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 is because
innovation
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 provides essential tools to tackle global challenges,
such
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 as pollution and inequality. It can lead to solutions that not only solve current issues but
also
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 improve the well-being of future generations.
For example
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, the development of electric vehicles helps reduce carbon emissions and overreliance on fossil fuels, contributing to environmental sustainability.
Furthermore
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, in the social issue,
for instance
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, online learning
platform
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platforms
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 like Ruang Guru have made quality education more accessible to students in remote areas, helping to reduce
educational
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the educational
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 gap. In conclusion,
while
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innovation
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 is often driven by the desire to boost the economy through the creation of high-quality
products
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, I believe its greatest value lies in addressing social and environmental challenges.
This
Linking Words
 focus brings more meaningful and lasting benefits to society as a whole.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points to provide a deeper understanding of your ideas. Adding some detail or examples can help make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your writing better.
task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have good examples, like Samsung and electric vehicles, which make your argument more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pursuit of profit
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • efficiency
  • consumer experiences
  • job creation
  • standard of living
  • sustainability
  • global challenges
  • renewable energy technologies
  • climate change
  • quality of life
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • underserved populations
  • socio-economic groups
  • balanced approach
  • social and environmental impacts
  • long-term sustainability
  • socially and environmentally responsible products
  • consumer preference
  • societal goals
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