IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The graph illustrates that the public
of
Change preposition
in
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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 to eat in fast food
Use synonyms
hotels
Check wording
restaurants
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 from 2003 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the USA, there was
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 rise
constant
Check wording
in cases
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 for once a
week
Use synonyms
 and once or twice a month.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there were people who did not go often or never to
such
Linking Words
hotels
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
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 2003, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 around 4% people who visited fast food
Use synonyms
hotels
Check wording
restaurants
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 every day
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there was
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
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 sharp rise in
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
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Punctuation problem
, around
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around
Change preposition
from
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 15% to 31% public who went several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 and once a
week
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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.
Then
Linking Words
, there was
steep
Correct article usage
a steep
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 fall in those who went
few
Correct article usage
a few
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times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
nearly
Punctuation problem
, nearly
show examples
 13% and 5% who never went to these
hotels
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2006 and 2013, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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every day
Use the right word
everyday
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 people around 3% who went every
.
Check wording
day.
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 There was skyrocket in several
times
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 and once a
Use synonyms
week
Check wording
people
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ate fast food around 20% and 35%. Respectively.
Then
Linking Words
, there was
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 decline
nearly
Change preposition
of nearly
show examples
 15% and 4% respectively in a few
times
Use synonyms
 a
year
Use synonyms
 and those who never visited.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state what the graph illustrates and provide a brief overview of the main trends. Also, make sure to summarize the main points in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer structure in your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea to help the reader follow your points better.
task achievement
Ensure that you use accurate data from the graph. Double-check the percentages and phrases used to describe changes, as some seem confusing or incorrect.
task achievement
You've included some relevant data points which supports your discussions about trends in fast food consumption.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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