Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

There are several

children

Use synonyms

who immerse themselves in their smartphones for hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. I claim

this

Linking Words

trend is a wholly negative development in their school

exams

Use synonyms

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

also

Linking Words

having a sedentary lifestyle.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

children

Use synonyms

may not pass their school

exams

Use synonyms

if they

utilize

Use the right word

utilise

show examples

their phones too much. The significant issue is that when some

children

Use synonyms

dedicate more time

watching

Change preposition

to watching

show examples

their phone screens, they store excessive information in their memory.

Moreover

Linking Words

,they are surrounded by

majority

Correct article usage

a majority

show examples

of information , most of which is not crucial.

As a result

Linking Words

, they consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all that unnecessary

datas

Correct your spelling

data

and it leads to

have

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a lack of concentration when they study for their

exams

Use synonyms

. A good illustration is that imagine

children

Use synonyms

will have

Correct article usage

a mathematic

show examples

mathematic

Replace the word

mathematics

show examples

exam and they should pass

this

Linking Words

exam. The more hours they use their smartphones in order to watch unrelated subjects, the less they can focus on math problems to tackle them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, another factor is that if

children

Use synonyms

use their phones too much, they will have a sedentary lifestyle.

This

Linking Words

kind of lifestyle

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some detrimental effects on

Use synonyms

children

Check wording

children's

show examples

lives. Not only

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

the

Use synonyms

children make

Correct word order

make children

show examples

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

, but

Linking Words

also it

Correct word order

it also

show examples

makes

Verb problem

prevents

show examples

them not to

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

out in their

routins

Correct your spelling

routines

. In the earlier generation,

children

Use synonyms

used to do a wide variety of physical activities which

made

Verb problem

kept

show examples

them

being

Verb problem

apply

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

peak condition.

For instance

Linking Words

, if

children

Use synonyms

spend their pastimes in order to do some physical activities rather than using their phones, they

wont

Correct your spelling

won't

be fat in the years to come.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

Meanwhile,

show examples

their brain’s function will

enhance

Wrong verb form

be enhanced

show examples

by taking up a sport in their free

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

. In conclusion, it is my firm conviction that spending more time on smartphone usage for

children

Use synonyms

is a negative development.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because not only does it

make

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

them not to

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

satisfactory scores in their

exams

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

it has several harmful impacts on their lifestyles.

behradbana1

Jul 6, 2025

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Task Achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the main points you'll discuss.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition') to help connect your ideas better.

Task Achievement

Try to include more specific examples that directly relate to your points to make your argument stronger.

Task Achievement

You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.

Task Achievement

You have mentioned important issues like school exams and lifestyle changes.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are going on holiday next week and you need to ask your friend to watch your dog while you are away. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • state how long you will be away • tell them what needs to be done • state how you will compensate them

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some business find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as the lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solutions? Also provide relevant examples from your experience.

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get news event. Do you think the advantages outwwigh the disadvantages?