Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

Some people want to find a good career and keep it forever others think they should change their
operation
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occupation
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after a couple of years. I argue that keeping a good
job
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is more reasonable than leaving it. As a starting point,
while
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I`m against changing
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job
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jobs
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, I believe it has some benefits
,
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.
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for
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For
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instance, you may find a better
job
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with a better salary
,
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.
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if
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If
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you have work experience or a good resume, you have a chance to develop yourself.
Additionally
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, new companies and coworkers can teach you new things,
while
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challenging yourself self it can motivate you to try harder. Personally, when I changed my corporation, I had to find a
job
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with a bit heavier tasks, so I had to adapt,
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thus
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apply
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that
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which
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made me stronger.
On the other hand
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, changing jobs two or three times in your whole life is ok , but more than
this
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has many disadvantages, like every
ti
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time
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me you
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You
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have to handle a high level of stress and anxiety.
Moreover
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, you might find an autocratic boss or bully colleagues, so you might put yourself in a bad situation. On top of that, I argue that
while
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changing has some advantages, keeping a
job
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is more beneficial.
First,
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after a couple of years, you gain your own respect and you find your place among the colleagues. Another thing is, you have a stable position and you can avoid stress from looking for a
job
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.
For example
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, every day you know what to do,
you
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and you
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have specific tasks to do.
Furthermore
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, you get close to the staff and know how to cooperate with them to develop the company and yourself. In conclusion, I believe keeping a
job
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is better for your mental health
and
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, and
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you know what to do every day , but if you want to look for a
job
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every three or two years, it can bother you and have a high risk, because of the personality of the boss and staff.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer. Make your opinion more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and spelling. Check for typos and sentence structure.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better (e.g., 'however', 'moreover').
task achievement
You presented different views on the topic clearly.
task achievement
Some examples support your points well, like your personal experience with job change.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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