IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There has been a vast quantity of time and money
to be
Verb problem
apply
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allocated to preserving wild
animals
Use synonyms
 annually in
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 and governments. Controversy has occurred around
this
Linking Words
 topic
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 should be used either to
converse
Verb problem
conserve
show examples
 wild
animals
Use synonyms
 or build human life.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both spending balanced money and time to protect wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and create a happy life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the authorities use their funds to plan the policy related to public health, social security and educational development. Unemployment, health crisis, and substandard education are
on
Change preposition
apply
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the key influences, which cause serious national instability.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the high proportion of unemployment has been occurring in
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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, there are various negative activities
such
Linking Words
 as increasing crimes, widening gap between rich and poor citizens, disorder
mental
Punctuation problem
, mental
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 and physical well-being,
breaking
Correct word choice
and breaking
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 the structure of
family
Correct article usage
the family
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. Another viewpoint is that wild
animals
Use synonyms
 play a vital role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 balancing
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the activities of protected wild
animals
Use synonyms
absolutely
Verb problem
are absolutely
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necessaries
Replace the word
necessary
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. They maintain a
stabilizing
Use the right word
stabilising
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 population of biota through prey, dispersing seeds,
pollination
Correct word choice
and pollination
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a range of birds pollinate flowers, which
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 kinds of
floras
Fix the agreement mistake
flora
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 reproduce and expand
distribution
Correct pronoun usage
their distribution
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 range.
Besides
Linking Words
, wild
faunas
Fix the agreement mistake
fauna
show examples
 offer a large quantity of food for numerous tribes. The
authorized
Use the right word
authorised
show examples
 institutes and governments earmark money and time for their responsibility. Not only do they find ways to sustain the population of wild
faunas
Fix the agreement mistake
fauna
show examples
, but they
build
Rephrase
also build
show examples
 community power.
As a result
Linking Words
, their activities create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term sustainable development in society.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. It should include a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by using linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to connect your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Add a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion instead of leaving it open-ended.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which shows understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help illustrate your points about the importance of wild animals and human needs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem stability
  • pollination
  • water purification
  • climate regulation
  • eco-tourism
  • scientific research
  • moral and ethical responsibility
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • financial cost
  • social issues
  • healthcare
  • education
  • fund allocation
What to do next:
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