IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that nowadays children have an easy life, and some people think that the life of children was easier in the past. Discuss both points of view and also provide relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Life now and past it is easier now

When it comes to the issue of
children
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, it has become a common concern
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
across all sectors of society.
While
Linking Words
 many individuals believe that
children
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
hard
Rephrase
as hard
show examples
today
Use synonyms
 like previous periods
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the blessing of modern science, others are opposed to the idea.
However
Linking Words
, before giving a reasoned conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will outline both points of view with relevant examples. On the one hand, kids
have now
Correct word order
now have
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
access to the
tecnology
Correct your spelling
technology
 where they can study ,and play video games. They not only get the science but
also
Linking Words
 make their
lives
Use synonyms
 easier than past.
For example
Linking Words
, the teenagers now do not need to
reach
Verb problem
attend
show examples
 school physically;
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, they can attend online classes and appear in exams.
In addition
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, they do not waste their valuable
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 roads
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 which
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 a time saver for them. The other point could be that
children
Use synonyms
 have access to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 where they can research or find out the answers. To
cie
Correct your spelling
cite
 an example,
last
Linking Words
 month,
juveniles
Correct article usage
the juveniles
show examples
 of our local school
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 made a project which was based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outer space. They collected the source of data from Google
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and won second prize globally.
However
Linking Words
, it is a great achievement for
children
Use synonyms
 in recent years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that kids in
Correct article usage
the 90's
show examples
90's
Check wording
90s
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 easier
life
Use synonyms
 than now. Because they did not have any extra pressure to do well in
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 academic performance.
In addition
Linking Words
, they did not have so many competitions ; so their
lives
Use synonyms
 were more comfortable than
today
Use synonyms
's era.
For example
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
listened
Verb problem
heard
show examples
 from my father that they had little expectations ,
as well as
Linking Words
 a simple way of
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 means that they were more reliable and flexible , rather than
today
Use synonyms
's contemporary world.
To sum up
Linking Words
, having analysed both sides of the views,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to state that
today
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 is
struggle free
Use the right word
struggle-free
show examples
,
instead
Linking Words
 of having more pressure on
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
lives
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, juveniles will
reach
Verb problem
live
show examples
 longer in the future
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
 the means of science.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction to directly show your opinion on the topic.
coherence
Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that connects to your overall argument. Consider starting each paragraph with a topic sentence.
coherence
Use more varied linking words to help connect your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which is very important in IELTS essays.
task achievement
You showed a good understanding of both sides of the argument, which is key to discussing the topic effectively.
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