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Writing Samples
Band 5

IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good
job
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 is to complete a course in
university
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education
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course
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. Others claim that it is better to start
work
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 after
school
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 and
gain
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experience
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 in the world of
work
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. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views? Being in a reputable
job
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 position remains a top priority for many employees.
While
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 some people advocate for
university
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 programme completion as a main reason to occupy a proper
job
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, others believe that getting involved in the market directly after
school
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 may be more effective. In my opinion,
although
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 the practical
experience
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 is essential to find a suitable
job
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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graduate studies
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 fundamental in creating a strong career pathway. On the one hand, supporters of starting to practice a
job
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 after
school
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 argue that
experience
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 in the
work
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 field enhances the required professional skills to
gain
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 a
job
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 that
meet
Correct subject-verb agreement
meets
show examples
 their needs. Because the
real world
Use the right word
real-world
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experience
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 exposes them to
work
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 conditions which are not illustrated in the academic courses.
For example
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, the project management diploma
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
 students how to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
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 goals,
while
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 it does not provide them with the required
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 skills that strengthen their ability to avoid gaps, so
this
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 skill makes them unique in their
job
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 and
broaden
Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
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 their opportunities to be hired in a good position.
However
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, I believe that
this
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experience
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 could be gained
by
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through
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 an internship course during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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.
On the other hand
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, many believe that a
well designed
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well-designed
show examples
university
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 course is a main factor
to find
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in finding
show examples
 a proper
job
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,
this
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 is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers would
prioritize
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prioritise
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those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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candidates with high degrees for the best positions
due to
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 their strong subject knowledge.
For instance
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, an agricultural engineer who studied plants at
university
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 will be more qualified to decide what kind of plants
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 suitable for a specific soil in an area
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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that
Correct word choice
than
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 an experienced farmer
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to saving efforts and resources. I strongly support the need
of
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for
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academic
Correct article usage
an academic
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 base to
gain
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 a successful
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
job
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. In conclusion, guaranteeing a good
job
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 is important for a stable future.
While
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after
Use the right word
after-school
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school
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work
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experience
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 boosts the chances
to
Change preposition
of gaining
show examples
gain
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 the desired
job
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, it is more crucial to
accomplish
Verb problem
complete
show examples
 an academic degree in order to build a long-term career.
Therefore
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, it is my firm opinion that people should focus on the
university
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 courses to ensure
being
Verb problem
they are
show examples
 in a suitable
job
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and all sentences support it directly.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify your points with simple examples, and ensure that the reader can easily follow your argument.
task achievement
Try to make your introduction and conclusion more distinctive, summarizing the main points clearly.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear opinions and a well-structured argument.
task achievement
You have explored both sides of the debate, which is important for task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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