Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

children

Use synonyms

should not decide everything about their own

self

Fix the agreement mistake

selves

show examples

for

Linking Words

example

Punctuation problem

example,

show examples

food

Use synonyms

, clothes, and

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

. It is because if they always decide alone, they will become more selfish and only think about

their self

Check wording

themselves

show examples

. But some

people

Use synonyms

think that it is important to let

children

Use synonyms

choose, because the matter is about their own

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

and give my opinion.

First

Correct article usage

The first

show examples

reason for the

people

Use synonyms

who

not

Verb problem

do not

show examples

agree to let

children

Use synonyms

choose is

because

Change preposition

that

show examples

it can make them too

focus

Replace the word

focused

show examples

with their self.

For example

Linking Words

, if

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

a child

show examples

always

choose

Correct subject-verb agreement

chooses

show examples

their own

food

Use synonyms

like candy or fast

food

Use synonyms

, they will ignore the healthy

food

Use synonyms

like vegetables.

Also

Linking Words

, when they choose

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

like online games or

cartoon

Fix the agreement mistake

cartoons

show examples

too much, it can

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

show examples

effect

for

Change preposition

show examples

their study. In the future,

this

Linking Words

habit can make the

children

Use synonyms

become

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

who don’t like to listen or compromise with other

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, giving chance to the

children

Use synonyms

to decide something can

also

Linking Words

give

Verb problem

show examples

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

. The reason is

because

Change preposition

that

show examples

it can teach them about responsibility and how to think more

mature

Replace the word

maturely

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, when

child

Use synonyms

choose their clothes, they can learn what is good for different

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

for school or playing.

Also

Linking Words

, when they can decide what to watch, the parents can explain if it is good or bad, so the

child

Use synonyms

can learn better.

Study

Correct article usage

A study

show examples

said that

Use synonyms

child

Correct article usage

a child

show examples

who learn to decide early will have more confidence and

strong

Replace the word

stronger

show examples

thinking in future. In conclusion, some

people

Use synonyms

worry that letting

children

Use synonyms

choose everything can make them selfish, but other

people

Use synonyms

think it

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to grow and learn

Verb problem

to make decision

show examples

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

. In my opinion, I believe we should give the

child

Use synonyms

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to choose, but not too

free

Replace the word

freely

show examples

. Parents still need to guide and explain to them, so they will not make bad

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

allhail.anakabah

Jul 7, 2025

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task achievement

Make sure each part of your essay supports your main idea more clearly. Try to elaborate on your points and give more examples to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Additionally', and 'In conclusion' to connect your ideas better. This will make your essay flow more smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

Try to check your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are unclear or have mistakes, which can confuse the reader.

content

You introduced both sides of the argument clearly, which shows good understanding of the topic.

content

Your opinion is clearly stated in the conclusion, which helps to guide the reader's understanding of your position.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is that ? What can we do to encourage people use bicycles more ?

In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either of these views?