IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer?

n
Correct your spelling
In
 today's fast-paced world, people have different opinions about where to eat. Some people enjoy going to
restaurants
Use synonyms
 or
food
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 stalls,
while
Linking Words
 others like to eat at
home
Use synonyms
. Personally, I prefer to prepare and eat
food
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 at
home
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 rather than outside. I have several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 choice. First of all,
home
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-cooked
food
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 is healthier. People can choose fresh ingredients, avoid too much oil, salt and sugar, which are harmful to health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, preservatives and unhealthy fats are used in
restaurants
Use synonyms
 or outside
food
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 stalls. Obesity, high blood pressure, and heart failure are some serious problems
occur
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
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due to
Linking Words
 these harmful elements.
Secondly
Linking Words
, eating at
home
Use synonyms
 saves money.
Buy
Wrong verb form
Buying
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 groceries and
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
 at
home
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 can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 costs. Apart from that, eating at
restaurants
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 costs too much money.
For instance
Linking Words
, a meal at a restaurant is two or three times
expensive
Rephrase
as expensive
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than
Change preposition
as
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 a meal made at
home
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, cooking at
home
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 can create a strong bond among family members. When all family members sit at the table to eat together, they experience a different feeling. It helps to enhance emotions and attractions towards the family. In conclusion,
All
Fix capitalization
all
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 of these things considered, I choose
home
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-made
food
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 rather than
restaurants
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some challenges but the advantages are much higher than the challenges. So, I strongly prefer
Use synonyms
home-made
Use the right word
homemade
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 at all times.

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task achievement
Try to include clearer examples and detailed explanations for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects well to your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid small grammar errors. Check for sentences that could be clearer or smoother.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your preference for home-cooked food.
task achievement
You have included some good reasons for your choice, like health and cost.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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