IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so it is a waste of time to read the news in newspapers and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Knowing other
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countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
news
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 is essential to know about issues that happen around the
world
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. It is claimed that reading
news
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 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time and not related to
individuals
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'
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is beneficial to read
news
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 but
this
Linking Words
 does not mean that it can affect
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people
Check wording
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 negatively. On the one hand,
people
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 attempt to know
news
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 through
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and television
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 help them to
realize
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realise
show examples
 what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
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 around the
world
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
news
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
individuals
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 to be aware
about
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of
show examples
 other
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countries
Check wording
countries'
show examples
 issues
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as
spreading
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the spread
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 of disease,
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 of
countries
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, and
political
Replace the word
politics
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in
COVID 19
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COVID-19
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, they
recognized
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recognised
show examples
 the spread of the disease through
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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people
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 know about others by
knowing
Verb problem
watching
show examples
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news
Correct article usage
the news
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 on television.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
news
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assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
show examples
people
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to develops
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
 their critical thinking
skill
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skills
show examples
,
hence
Linking Words
 they attempt to
criticize
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criticise
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 the
news
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 and
analyze
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analyse
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them to improve
this
Linking Words
 skill and use it in different aspects.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are numerous disadvantages of understanding
news
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 because it might spread fear and lies
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 might lead to mental health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, reading
news
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in
Change preposition
about
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pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
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 might result in depression and
people
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 might try to
suicide
Verb problem
commit suicide
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. It might decrease
productivity
Correct article usage
the productivity
show examples
 of
people
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 because
individuals
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 might lose their
works
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focus on work
show examples
 to watch because
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 might
affect negatively
Correct word order
negatively affect
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and might cause overload and pressure. In my opinion, I totally agree that
read
Wrong verb form
reading
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 and
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
news
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 play a great role in different
aspects
Punctuation problem
aspects,
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 not only
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
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 in getting knowledge of other
countries
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 but
also
Linking Words
enhancement of
Replace the word
enhancing
show examples
 their critical thinking skill,
also
Linking Words
 it helps in decreasing of fake
news
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. In conclusion,
news
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 is crucial to be spread all over the
world
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 to allow
individuals
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 to be familiar
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
show examples
 in the
world
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. I suggest that
people
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 should be aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
news
Correct article usage
the news
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 and
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 about other communities.

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task response
Your introduction could clearly state your opinion on the topic to guide the reader. Consider rephrasing the thesis statement to better explain your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point that directly relates to your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
task response
Use simple and clear examples to support your points. Sometimes the examples could be more focused on how news impacts people's lives directly, not just general issues.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each point flows logically from one to the next. Adding linking words like 'however', 'furthermore', and 'on the other hand' can help improve the flow.
task response
You provide relevant examples, such as COVID-19, which show the importance of news in understanding global issues.
task response
You addressed both positive and negative aspects of news, showing a balanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Informed
  • Current events
  • Public awareness
  • Local news
  • Global issues
  • Sensationalism
  • Misinformation
  • Bias
  • Community
  • Public safety
  • Health advisories
  • Market trends
  • Traffic updates
  • Weather forecasts
  • Educate
  • Raise awareness
  • Opinion formation
  • Decision making
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