IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar graph provides statistical data on the percentage of British people who donate money to charities based on their age ranges for two years, 1990 and 2010.

The bar graph provides statistical data on the percentage of British people who donate money to charities based on their age ranges for two years, 1990 and 2010.
The bar graph displays data on the proportions of UK
citizens
Check wording
citizens'
show examples
 money
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 their
age
Use synonyms
 group in the two years 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, three
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 donated
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeably
 more in 1990,
while
Linking Words
 the
donitations
Correct your spelling
donations
 of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher in 2010. The
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of charity work in 1990 witnessed a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 before falling.
However
Linking Words
, all the
age
Use synonyms
 ranges
donitation
Correct your spelling
donation
 rates
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 increasing in 2010. On the one hand, people from 18 - 25 in 1990 gave almost 10% more than
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
. The two
groups
Use synonyms
 from 26 to and from 36 to 50 donated about 6% higher than the same
groups
Use synonyms
 in 2010. The individuals in these three
age
Use synonyms
 ranges gave more in 1990 than in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010 the people from 51 to 65 donated around 39%
while
Linking Words
 the
smae
Correct your spelling
same
 group gave 35% in 1990.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
britsh
Correct your spelling
British
 citizens over 65 gave about 4% money to charities in 2010 than in 1995. The percentage of
donitation
Correct your spelling
donations
 of these
groups
Use synonyms
 in 2010 surpassed the numbers of the same
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in 1995.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "gave" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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