IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Fastfood is becoming one part of our life. some people say that every individual should take responsiblity for it while other people say that it the government's responsiblity. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Public
Correct article usage
The public
show examples
argue
Correct subject-verb agreement
argues
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
 need to take
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
our part of
Correct word order
part of our
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 others say that it is
Use synonyms
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 responsibility.
This
Linking Words
 essay will describe for both
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
government's roles
Check wording
government
show examples
 to take
controls
Fix the agreement mistake
control
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 need to improve their efficiency to get more time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 finish their activities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 need to spend their time rapidly
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their basic needs. One hand, producing meals for an individual
are need
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
spend
Verb problem
to spend
show examples
 more time from preparing to consuming.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 has
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 quick
food
Use synonyms
servis
Correct your spelling
services
 which
is fastly
Verb problem
are
show examples
afford
Replace the word
affordable
show examples
 by
Use synonyms
everybody
Punctuation problem
everybody,
show examples
 called
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 has some problems in
health
Use synonyms
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, consuming
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long term could
be increasing
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 weight, risk
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
hypertension, and other metabolic
syndrom
Correct your spelling
syndromes
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
 experts and
people
Use synonyms
 who
Verb problem
are concern
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 its issue are
propose
Wrong verb form
proposing that
show examples
 individuals
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
limit their consumption
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
. They argue that
everybody
Use synonyms
 has control
on
Change preposition
over
show examples
 their body, and has
responsbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 to keep their body healthy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
People
Use synonyms
 who
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
 healthy
food
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraged
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everybody
Use synonyms
 to limit their
Use synonyms
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
with
Check wording
consumption with
show examples
 some method and measurement. The
health
Use synonyms
 activist has
proposes
Wrong verb form
proposed
show examples
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
government
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take
role
Correct article usage
a role
show examples
. The
government
Use synonyms
 needs to regulate
this
Linking Words
 issue by
control
Replace the word
controlling
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
standar
Correct your spelling
standard
 and
raise
Wrong verb form
raising
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 awareness about
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
govoernment
Correct your spelling
government
 can
be controlling
Wrong verb form
control
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
standar
Correct your spelling
standards
 and
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
show examples
 healthy
food
Use synonyms
 in
mass
Correct article usage
the mass
show examples
 media.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 have to
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
health
Use synonyms
monitor
Check wording
monitoring
show examples
 for
everybody
Use synonyms
 regularly. To
summarize
Use the right word
summarise
show examples
,
Public
Correct article usage
the Public
show examples
 has
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to keep healthy by their efforts
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to support with their policy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
make
Verb problem
to make
show examples
 sure
everybody
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 it.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects logically to the next paragraph.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and explanations to support your points better.
language accuracy
Make sure to proofread for spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a personal opinion, which is important for the task.
task achievement
You included some relevant health issues related to fast food, showing an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • individual choices
  • government regulation
  • dietary habits
  • health implications
  • obesity epidemic
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • nutritional education
  • convenience food
  • public health campaigns
  • preventative measures
  • healthcare costs
  • food industry
  • socioeconomic factors
  • informed decisions
  • quality of life
What to do next:
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