IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that children should start school as early as possible, while others believe they should start at least at 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that children should start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 at an early
age
Use synonyms
. Many believe that early
education
Use synonyms
always
Verb problem
is always
show examples
 beneficial for their personal growth and future development
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 others are not in favour of
this
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and provide a comprehensive analysis of
this
Linking Words
 matter. There are numerous benefits of beginning schooling at an early
childhood period
Check wording
age
show examples
. The primary advantage is that children possess remarkable grasping ability at a young
age
Use synonyms
, enabling them to absorb knowledge and skills rapidly, which lays a strong foundation for their future
education
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, since the majority of
parents
Use synonyms
 work full-time nowadays, sending kids to
school
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a young
age
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 them safe and friendly environment
while
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 focus on their jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, going
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
to school
show examples
 at an early
childhood period
Check wording
age
show examples
 can not only enhance their
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 growth but
also
Linking Words
 help them to learn discipline,
cooparate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
, and
sharing
Check wording
share
show examples
 habits.
Overall
Linking Words
, learning
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a young
age
Use synonyms
 has many benefits for both children
as well as
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
. Many argue that starting
school
Use synonyms
 at least in year 7 has more advantages than beginning formal
education
Use synonyms
 early.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 and grandparents are always the first
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 of their child. They can not only learn moral values from their
parents
Use synonyms
 or grandparents
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
 enjoy their childhood
while
Linking Words
 staying at home.
Secondly
Linking Words
, students become mature by their
age
Use synonyms
, and starting
education
Use synonyms
 in year 7 helps them to learn
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 curriculum with maturity as compared to learning at an early
age
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 commencing schooling at a young
age
Use synonyms
 has several benefits compared to attending in year 7,
such
Linking Words
 as acquiring knowledge and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, fostering creativity and innovations. In my point of view, they should start their formal
education
Use synonyms
 at an early
age
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure your main ideas are fully developed with supporting examples or arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentences for mistakes, as some sentences are unclear or hard to understand.
task achievement
You introduce both sides of the argument well, showing that you understand the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that states your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • critical developmental period
  • foundational skills
  • learning difficulties
  • long-term academic outcomes
  • structured learning environments
  • emotional and social development
  • mental health
  • well-rounded development
  • natural pace of childhood development
  • cognitive and personal growth
  • mature emotionally and socially
  • structured demands
What to do next:
Look at other essays: